


you gave me roses (but they're all just made of plastic)

by Selenastae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Fluff and Angst, Gangs, M/M, Making Out, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-06-28 10:29:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15705408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selenastae/pseuds/Selenastae
Summary: This has always the way its been for Na Jaemin, he had simple instructions- gain the targets trust, get the information, and eliminate him as soon as possible. Sounds simple enough, right? It really would have been if his target wasn't Lee Jeno, heir to the deadliest and largest gang based in Korea. It also wasn't very helpful that Jaemin had caught feelings so quickly.





	1. all eyes on you, my magician

Jeno made his way through the crowd, his black mask making it even harder for him to breathe as he practically sprinted in the opposite direction. From a bystanders point of view it’d just look like any other kid running late for school, but no this was Lee Jeno so of course his life wouldn’t be that mundane. His legs started burning as he rounded the corner of the street, looking past his shoulder as quickly as he could manage. Thoughts swirled through his mind rapidly most along the line of occasional cussing to saying somewhat positive things to himself. You could say he was trying to make himself feel slightly better about the situation he had somehow managed to put himself in.

It really wasn't his fault to begin with. Other than the fact that Jeno was indeed the one that had lost his guards, purposely going deep into a crowd in hopes of losing both the men that had been following him from afar. “For his protection” everyone had said, more like babysitting. At least that's what Jeno thought, that is until this very moment, with someone practically high tailing him, he really desperately almost pathetically wishes with every bone in his body that he could use his one and a half brain cells for once.

_Okay so maybe i do need guards_ Jeno thought, lowkey wheezing into his mask, his glasses about ready to fall off his face.

Jeno turned his full body around after running for almost 10 minutes looking behind him. Content with seeing no one there he continued running until he got to the entrance of the familiar building, he darted inside, letting the door fall to a close from behind him. In an obvious panic he ran past the receptionist up the stairs. Why’d they have to put his room so far away, he thought as he slipped through the double doors into the hallway He ignored the way his lungs burned as he entered the room of his brother- Doyoung. He entered the room practically slamming the door behind him shut in a rush of adrenaline.

“Jeno what's wrong?” Doyoung asked, a shadow of worryment written all over his face. Well i mean who wouldn't be worried after seeing jeno practically barrel into their room at high speed. Jeno removed his black mask sucking in air slightly

“Someone was following me for around 20 minutes, maybe more.” Jeno said finally being able to say something without fainting from lack of oxygen. He took a seat in the chair across from Doyoung, not before getting a bottle of water from the bar in his brothers office first however.

“i started running after they had been following me for nearly 10 minutes, there's no way it was just a coincidence.”

“Where were your guards Jeno?” Doyoung asked, his voice raised an octave either in agitation or just in pure worry for his brother. _Jeno hoped it was the second one_.

‘Well you see..” Jeno started not finding the right words that would send his brother into a fit. “I kinda, sorta, maybe, perhaps-” Doyoung cut him off, an annoyed groan filled the room. “ oh my god just say you lost them on purpose again, not like it's the first time you've ever done it.” Jeno smiled nervously not adding in any sarcastic remarks that could worsen his brothers mood, or worse give him more bodyguards than the ones he already has. Jeno grew pale at the thought, losing the two body guards he has now is already a pain in the ass, nevermind there being even more.

Doyoung’s face hardened after hearing jenos story knowing obviously who the only people that could have done such a thing be- Dream X. If you were to ask an ordinary person who the Dream X were chances are they'd have no idea. But to other gang members they would all reply with the same thing, _assholes_.

Long ago the Dream X were a small gang, no one knew about them, their reputation at the time was nonexistent. That is until 2016 when everything went to shit. Lee taeyong current leader of Dream X has quite the reputation. after all he is known for seducing a man from another gang, then murdering him in cold blood. Said man who was brutally murdered, also known as Jung Yoonoh brother of Lee Jeno as well as Kim Doyoung, but more officially known as the leader of Neo Alpha- the largest known gang based in korea.

Yoonoh had fallen in love, the whole gang had known about his encounters with the smaller leader from the other gang. The classic case of a modern day Romeo and Juliet, at least that's how Yoonoh had described it when Jeno asked him. He had told him all about their first meeting. How they had met at a bar hidden on the outskirts of their town, he had almost immediately been entranced by the other. Apparently they had both revealed their actual occupations fairly quickly, not wanting their to be any lies in their newfound relationship.

Everyone knew yet they didn't have the power to stop him. He was their leader after all so who were they to tell him what to do? Jeno and Doyoung however did all they could for him to leave the other, for him to stop sneaking out at god knows what hour just to see him. Nighttime being the only real time the lovers ever saw each other, due to both being busy throughout the day. They had told Yoonoh of all the dangers he was risking but he was persistent, insisting that everything would work out okay. It didn't.

It wasn't till a few months had passed, did everything come crashing down. Almost instantly did the whole empire find out- the notorious Jung Yoonoh was dead. Immediately was Lee Taeyong suspected, especially considering the fact that the day of his death yoonoh had mentioned visiting his lover . It was then that the sudden rivalry had begun, Doyoung pledging hed do whatever it would take to “avenge” his brother, he had killed countless before, killing a few more had no effect on him.

It had definitely hit Jeno the hardest however, traumatizing him to a certain point of him not wanting to leave his house for almost a month. Everything he did reminded him of his older brother, whom he was so close with.

The opposing gang run by Lee Taeyong had then spiraled upwards, becoming well known in that line of business.

-

Jeno sighed as he watched his obviously distressed brother pace the room.

“How could they have found me?” Jeno says, his voice slightly trembling as he recalled what had just happened.

It's no secret there's 3 brothers that are heads of Neo Alpha, Jeno was known as the heir to the gang, many knew that once doyoung stepped down, Jeno would be the next in charge. However the only people who actually know the identity of the youngest brother are only trusted gang members. More than half of Neo Alpha dont know what exactly lee jeno looks like, his identity had been kept a secret from the public eye as well as lower rank members who had yet to gain trust in the corporation. The had planned on keeping his identity a secret, well at least they had planned on keeping it that way.

Doyoung looked at him with wavering eyes unsure of what to say to possibly make this situation better. With a rivaling gang knowing what jenos identity was, there was no guarantee the boy could live a safe life anymore. Doyoung sat in his chair a frustrated groan escapes his lips.

“I just don't understand who would've told anyone about you, what would they even gain from it” doyoung said mumbling out the last part of his sentence.

“It might not have been from the other gang, we don't have enough proof at least, lets just hope it was just some random drunk who got interested in you.”

Jeno shuddered “that doesn't make me feel any better Do” he says a slight glare in his eyes. “ we can't just assume and take action, so let's wait a little and see if anything else might occur, remember if anything suspicious happens, even the slightest thing call me, also please stop running away from your guards,it really isn't safe..” and with a slight nod of his head as well as an apologetic sorry jeno exits doyoung’s office, black mask already on, this time with an extra pair of sunglasses just to be extra careful.

Jeno takes deep breaths making his way past the receptionist he ran by earlier giving her a slight nod. She being one of the only people in their building who personally knows jeno as the third brother in Neo Alpha. Although he himself did not know much information about her, other than the fact that she was apparently trustworthy. What was her name again? Sooyung? Sooyoung? He thought as he made his way back outside slightly cautious, worrying someone else could have followed him back. He pushes his glasses higher up nose as he made his way to the cafe nearby.  
Many would not be able to tell but a large part of korea is actually owned by the Neo Alphas. Mundane things such as cafes and libraries, even stores were owned by them, making these places safe for jeno to visit. Seeing as everyone (who knew about him) kept a watchful eye over him to make sure the young heir was safe. From a safe distance that is, jeno insisted his guards keep distance between them as to not look so sketchy.

The stunt earlier where someone had followed him had honestly been a fluke. 99% of the time jeno had little to no privacy, his every move constantly vigilized by his guards. His brother had become much more strict with him every since the death of yoonoh, worrying jeno would suffer the same fate.

It never really bothered jeno that he didn't have much freedom, but he sometimes did wish his life wasn't so guarded.

-

Jaemin sighed making his way to his brothers room, already annoyed at whatever the older was gonna tell him. He had already had a bad morning starting with Renjun accidentally spilling his orange juice over his new phone as well as almost falling down the stairs not even 2 minutes ago. So yeah jaemin was slightly bitter.

Jaemin entered the room not even bothering to knock, his brother not even looking up from his work, that is until jaemin coughed loudly causing the other man to jump almost immediately. Jaemin snickered loudly as he sat down, throwing his feet up on his brothers desk

“So taeyong, what do ya need me for?” jaemin asked although he already knew this was most likely just another mission. Jaemins line of business was.. Unorthodox to say the least. Not many at his age specialized in assassination, well in his defense he didn't have choice. His father had been heavily involved in gangs, specifically Neo Alpha. Their father had been fairly young when he was murdered, at the hands of the then leader, Jung Yoonoh.

Since that moment they had learned of their father's death taeyong had been filled with the urge for vengeance. Jaemin couldn't quite understand his hatred for the other gang considering, well, the fact that the person that had killed their father was already dead. At the hands of taeyong nonetheless.

Taeyong sighed pulling out some files hidden in his desk. “You've gotten another target, this one will…” he paused slightly his eyes looking between the file sat on his desk back to jaemin. “ this could possibly be one of your toughest ones yet.” taeyong concluded.

“Please i'm _basically_ a professional” jaemin added with a scoff.

“Look i know you've already had hundreds of cases but this one is especially important, it's not just some random politician who we need to get rid of, its someone with more power than any of us here have, hell he has more power than many major celebrities could ever dream of having.”

Jaemins eyes slightly widened at that, yeah he’d definitely killed many people, more than you can count, but someone with that much influence? He'd never crossed that line.

“Listen jaemin i'm gonna be real with you, we had considered many others for this job, but when we thought about it we decided you'd be the perfect candidate, after all you're by far the closest one to his age so it shouldn't be as hard to get closer to him. All you have to do is earn his trust, get some information out of him, and then eliminate him as soon as possible.”

“Okay” jaemin said, as he slowly reached for the file, taeyong stopped him just as he was about to open it. “Also im warning you now, be as careful as you can possibly be, any slip ups could cost you your life, understood?” jaeming nodded in understanding still unable to guess just who important this person was for even taeyong to be worried about him.

Jaemin opened the file, fingers slightly shaking as he took out the papers held inside. The first sheet was just a picture with a name and picture.

Lee jeno it read, a picture of a boy dressed in all black attached. _Hes kinda good looking_ jaemin thought as he turned the page. His blood turned cold as he saw all the further information scrawled out on it.

_Relations: brother of kim doyoung and jung yoonoh_

_Current status: heir of Neo Alpha_

Jaemin almost threw up reading that. Who wouldn't? Neo Alpha was the most feared gang based in korea, one wrong move and you could be killed just like that, gone without a single trace left in your wake.

“W-why do you want me to kill another one of the brothers? Isn't one of them being dead enough?”

Taeyong smirked slightly before going back to his passive expression. “ i want to see them all crumble, to see the current leader at our mercy, is there a problem?” his passive expression almost even more terrifying as he says these things with no emotions.

Jaemin had left it at that, not wanting to deal with his weird brother anymore he left the room confirming he'd be on it as soon as possible.

He had to start his mission effect immediately, so he put on what had to be his most casual outfit trying to give off his most casual high schooler esk vibe he could muster. ( he had been homeschooled so he really had no idea what to do.) Before setting off to the cafe that he just happened to be informed that he would be able to find Lee Jeno in.

-

Jeno takes a deep breath pushing the doors of the cafe open, the small ding alerting the cashiers of a new customer. He slipped his mask off his face as he made his way to the register, ordering his usual - a iced latte, his eyes wandering around the cafe as he waited for his drink. He took notice of the fact that there weren't many customers, only an old couple and a girl that seemed around his age seated in the small cafe. He took his change and his drink making his way to a vacant seat, body still feeling heavy due to the unnecessary exercise earlier.

His bodyguards were now with him, having managed to track him down after the stunt he had pulled earlier. Both his guards Mark and Lucas had given him a stern talking to, draining him of even more of the energy he was already lacking.

_I seriously need to get a car_ , he mumbled carelessly under his breath, although not as quiet as he thought he was when he heard a small “what would you need a car for?” came from in front of where he was seated.

Jeno quickly looked up just as said stranger who had spoken took a seat directly in front of him sliding effortlessly into the booth. His eyes land on possibly the cutest human being Jenos ever seen in his life. The boy was wearing a white sweatshirt, his pink hair effortlessly tousled almost as if he had just woken up. The other boy hadn't been there when Jeno had first eyed the inside of the cafe so Jeno figured he must have gotten there while he was busy spacing out. Said boy was still staring at him, eyeing him with almost a curious glint in his eyes, the smile on his face never backing down.

“Ah! I'm sorry i shouldn't have intruded like that!, you just looked kinda lonely is all” he added with a small laugh. Um Im Jaemin” the boy said his hand reaching forward. Jeno shook it slightly a small smiling creeping up his lips. “Its fine, i wasn't doing anything in the first place, i'm jeno by the way.”

“Well jeno, you never really did answer my question, you look pretty young, why do you already need a car?”

Jeno shifted uncomfortably not sure how to explain his situation. _I can't just say its because im scared someone else might follow me also because i'm sick of having to walk around with guards 24/7. Literally on what planet does any ordinary “high school” student say something like that._ He also can’t say it’d also help him in his futile attempts of running away from the life he has now. Don’t get him wrong he loves his brother and all of that jazz but he seriously just wishes he could have a normal life, just like any other kid his age, rather than be controlled on a day to day basis just because he was the heir to a gang. Back on topic though he really couldn't say something like that, cause again _what normal high school student says that?_

Jeno accidentally let a nervous laugh spill from his (nonexistent) lips. “ just seems more convenient is all.” jeno replied, _good save jeno_ he thought taking a long sip from his drink. Jaemin smiled, his eyes slightly lighting up at the way jeno was acting almost shyly.

“Mmm you do seem like the type to drive on of those fancy cars actually.” he said, his head nodding along with what he was saying, almost like he was agreeing with himself. Jeno laughed not expecting that answer. “Oh really what makes you say that?”

“Maybe it's the aura that you give off, sorta like a rich bad boy kinda cliche you have going on.”

Doyoung would have busted a lung if he heard all of this.

-

Jaemin was surprisingly easy to make conversation with even they had been strangers not even a half hour ago. Even when jeno had to leave because one of his guards Lucas - as he liked to be called was making signals at him through the glass if the bakery signaling he had other things to do, jaemin just pouted slightly and asked for his number. Not before throwing in a quick _nice meeting you cutie_ did jaemin finally leave, leaving behind a mildly blushy jeno in his wake.

 

-

After boldy interjecting himself into jenos conversation with himself he was able to get a closer look at the other boy. Jaemin had been wrong earlier, jeno wasn't just good looking, no, he was godlike if anything. Jaemin tried not to focus on that though, and although he was indeed sweating, and his leg was definitely shaking under the table, he was a good enough actor to not let it show. The small eye smile the other would throw his way did make his heart speed up but he just played it off jitters.

The other boy was acting odd but it was most likely just due to the fact that jaemin was flirting with him unashamedly, but hey what other way was there to get closer in a short amount of time?

Jaemin had caught the other looking at a window in the store his face looking impatiently and jaemin had done a quick 360 to see that jeno had been looking at someone standing outside. The man wasn't exactly being secretive, it looked almost as if he was throwing up gang signs _ironic really._

It was when jeno had excused himself it finally settled into jaemin just how much he had enjoyed their time together. He jumped quickly get his number before scurrying off, heading as quickly as he could towards his dorm. _Why is my heart beating so fast?_ He asked himself over and over. Probably just imagining it he thought, trying to get the image of the other boy smiling out of his head.

When he ran into taeyong in the common area of the dorm was when he remembered his mission, he had gotten too ahead of himself, almost forgetting why he had talked to jeno in the first place, gain his trust then eliminate him. It was almost as if he was repeating a mantra in his head “don't get attached, it'll all end soon either way.”

Maybe he wasn't the best person for this job, he never really seemed to know when he would cross the invisible line of feelings or getting attached. It was all just the same to him, killing for a living, so why was this time any different? Just because it was a boy his age? Or maybe it was something else, something beyond what na jaemin could comprehend. Nonetheless however jaemin kept on, not once questioning his morals, knowing this was something he'd absolutely have to do.

He didn't want to disappoint taeyong or really anyone else in Dream, so he pushed himself to text the other boy once the next day had come. He refrained from having texted him the first day they met as to not come off as too clingy. He didn't want to set the other boy off so quickly, after all he did have to gain his trust at some point.

Jeno did not respond immediately most likely busy with some affair. He's the heir to his gang of course he wouldn't respond quickly, that thought still didn't stop jaemin from sulking however. Complaining to everyone he'd see in the hallways of their dorms about his unluckiness with men, driving everyone crazy at his constant whining. All secretly praying for _whoever jaemin was waiting for a text from to just text him already for the love of god._

So when jaemins phone finally buzzed, the boy had practically lunged at it, his eyes suddenly shining brighter than they had the whole day. Jaemin would just blame it on the lighting when someone had pointed it out, _no of course it's not because i actually like this guy fuck off_ he insisted.

Little did he know that on the recipient side of the messages jeno was actually shining brighter than any sun. Although he couldn't answer at first because he was at some (as he would call it) completely unnecessary meeting filled with a bunch of blockheads who he really, truly disliked being with. He really didn't care about any of the specifics of the gang but doyoung had always made him sit through them so he could learn the ropes for when the “crown” went down to him.

He never really did have any type of normal in his life, always constantly surrounded by people trying to protect him, to groom him into being the perfect heir for neo alpha, but with jaemin he thought maybe just maybe he could finally have something or someone to keep his mind grounded.

He had responded as quickly as he could, doing his best not to sound too formal. (jaemin had laughed from the other side because he swore jeno texted like an old man.) They had ultimately agreed to meet up at the same cafe as the last time they had met. One thing that had him nervous was that the jaemin had told (well texted) him that he'd like to get to know more about him. How was he even supposed to start with that? _"Hi im lee jeno also known as the heir to the most powerful gang in korea, have you tried the muffins here i heard they're great..”_   Yeah he could TOTALLY say that huh. Jaemin of course knew every bit of information that was, well, out to the public about Jeno so really he was just checking to see how much info jeno was willing to withhold from him.

Other than the fact that he obviously couldn't go into detail about his background, he also had to deal with his two annoying bodyguards (okay maybe he considered them friends, but they don't have to know that) tagging along for his “safety”. Yeah he understands ever since the stalker incident he needs to be more careful but seriously? They had to follow him even on his date?

Or at least jeno called it a date but realistically he had no idea whether the other boy was even into him like that. Jaemin was honestly giving him mixed signals, the first time they had met jaemin had called him cutie but then through text he had called jeno his “bro” so really he had no idea what he was supposed to think at this point.

On jaemins side he was literally (not really) having a meltdown over the fact that he had called jeno “bro”, he wasn't even thinking straight when he had sent the message, so now here he is questioning every life choice he's ever made in his life over one word. Truly iconic.

But anyways ignoring both of their mental breakdowns, they had agreed to meet the coming up sunday which was a measly two days away. To say they were both a wreck would be sugar coating it. No, they were full on catastrophes at this point. Jeno being the worst considering this would be his first time going out with a friend that wasn't part of neo alpha, so really this was a big milestone for him. The day of the actual meeting doyoung had sent him off, tears ready to come out at any minute, mumbling something about “they grow up so fast” while the secretary (who jeno had learned her name was indeed sooyoung) brought him some tissues and ushered him back to his office before he could make a scene.

Jeno leisurely made his way to the cafe taking his time in an effort to calm his fast beating heart, his two and a half brain cells trying to think of things normal high kids talk about normally. Drugs? School? What do normal high schoolers even do in their freetime? He probably could have easily asked mark or lucas for help on this topic but his pride didn't even let him think of the idea. _Jaemin doesn't really seem like the type to do drugs though.._ He thought, there were many things wrong with talking about drugs in the first place but somehow that was the only conclusion jeno was able to come too.

He finally arrived to the cafe he hesitantly took a step inside looking around until he spot the other pink haired boy. Who currently had his head slightly down so jeno couldn't really see his face, the only thing that gave away it was jaemin were his pouty lips that jeno could see even from a distance. Jeno made his way over lips already starting to form a small smile just at the sight of the other boy. He slid into the booth across from jaemin slightly knocking their knees together which made him finally look up from where he was originally pouting.

“You dyed your hair brown!” was the first thing he said as soon as his eyes landed on jeno. “Wow you really do look good in any hair color!” he exclaimed still looking at him almost in wonderment. Jeno laughed shaking head “black is my original hair color but i wanted to try something new.”

Jaemin nodded, “ah actually i've been meaning to ask, do you live around here or something? Most people that come to this cafe are locals, but the first time we met was the first time i've ever seen you around here.”

Jeno couldn't exactly tell him that this cafe was actually owned by his gang and that he never really came here because he felt like he could never relax due to constantly being watched. He also couldn't disclose where he lived to anyone no matter what, but the way jaemin was looking at him was almost enough for him to tell him his whole address with no restraint. Luckily jeno isn't that careless otherwise he would have been dead by now.

“I don't live near here actually.” _a lie_.” i just happened to run into this cafe while i was on a walk and decided to try it out.” _another lie, but what jaemin doesnt know wont kill him._

“Oh really? I must have gotten really lucky to have been able to meet you at that time then.” jaemin said positivity practically radiating off of him.

The conversation from then on went how jeno would assume high schoolers talked, jaemin had suggested playing twenty questions so they could get to know each other. Most questions were trivial simple one such as “what's your favorite color?” or even asking each others ages.

-

At the end of the night when both boys were about to bid farewell to one another (they walked out holding hands courtesy of jaemin being confident.) jeno had left a single kiss on his cheek, telling him they should definitely go on a date again soon. (explicitly saying date just to make sure.) before running off in the opposite direction, his very tall bodyguard following not so discreetly behind as he tried not to lose the boy.

Jaemin went to bed that night unable to stop thinking of jeno. Almost as if he had plagued his mind, every time he tried to stop thinking about it his thoughts just kept wandering towards him. He just really couldn't believe how someone could possibly be so perfect. Aside from the fact that he was in a deadly gang, jeno seriously was perfect boyfriend material. Jaemin knew it was wrong what he was feeling because pretty soon lee jeno would be dead, just another memory to forget. How could he possibly disappoint his brother after all?

In this moment however, jaemin seriously couldn't imagine killing his target.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter'll probably be up soon!! this chapter took me a while to make cause i wanted to get all the formalities out of the way skssj, but thank u for reading uwu


	2. gold cage, hostage to my feelings

Jaemin sped up slightly as he made his way to taeyongs room, long legs going as fast as he could as they could go, _after all he certainly didn’t want to be late for his third date with jeno._ Of course he wouldn't admit to this fact, not even admitting to hyuck and renjun, although they both knew him well enough to know when he was lying.

He hadn’t exactly told his friends all about his mystery man, only keeping in short details that didn’t really provide any information for the most part.

 

He slowed down his pace after hitting his hip at an oddly misplaced table in the middle of the lobby of his brothers office building, muttering out a small _shit_ as he held his hip in pain. He stopped for a few seconds, then collected himself and running with even more pace than before, after realizing just what time it was.

 

 _Of fucking course he chooses to have a meeting 10 minutes before i have another date, just my luck_ , jaemin lets out a groan as he turns yet another corner, cussing out whoever had the audacity to put so many corners after corners in one building.

 

In jaemins mind he still considered these dates as “work” not even admitting it to himself just how much he had enjoyed the previous dates, and of course insisting to himself just how dreadful this next one would one. Almost as if he had completely erased the fact from his mind that not even a day ago he was sulking because he missed the older.

 

Anyone he’s seen in the past 24 hours would be able to tell you just how much jaemin kept talking about jeno, obviously not using his name for confidential reasons. But somehow still making everyone nonetheless annoyed with jaemin saying more than embarrassing things like _oh my god junnie you should’ve seen it, his smile was so cute i almost fainted at least 20 times._ But again, he’d deny any of this ever happening.

 

He finally got to taeyongs office throwing the door open, panting heavily as he grunts out a _im here._ Taeyong looked up from where he was reading something on his computer gesturing for his obviously exhausted brother, who looks like he just ran a whole marathon, to take a seat.

 

“ah jaemin, how are you progressing with your mission?” he asks eyes never leaving his brother, as if he was expecting something.

 

Jaemin coughed slightly looking up, racking his brain for what to say.

 

“Well.. he seems comfortable with me at the moment, he already addressed me in a more than friendly way..”

 

“mmm , that's good, make sure not to end up like him then.”

 

Jaemin makes a sound of confusion, tilting his head as a sign of question.

 

Taeyong sighed slightly, hands coming up as he pinched the bridge of his nose slightly before putting his full attention back to jaemin. “Listen i know these kinds of missions can be…  hard to manage, just remember to keep your focus.”

 

“What i'm saying here jaemin, is i know how you can be, just please don't get swayed so easily, it’ll just make the end even harder for you, don’t get too comfortable.”

 

“Wait, are you trying to imply i’m easy like that?” jaemin asks slowly growing more agitated at his brothers words.

 

“Of course not jaemin, its just.. Sometimes you let your emotions get the best of you.”

 

“Well i’m sorry not all of us can be fucking heartless enough to kill the person they love.” his icy tone made taeyong freeze for a second before gaining his composure again, shoulders looking rigid and his eyes darker.

 

“Who ever said i loved him nana?”

 

“You didn’t have to tell me, it was obvious to anyone who looked at you two. You didn’t have to do it, you didn’t have to kill him. He actually made you happy. I miss seeing you happy tae.”  taeyong smirked eyes wandering to look back at his computer, hands taking their place at the keyboard one again.

 

“I did what i knew would make me happy. No further discussions on this, if you have nothing else to report then you can go.”

 

Jaemin sighed as he got up from his seat sending a wistful look towards his brother who had long stopped paying attention to him. He exited the room eyes a bit duller than when he first entered.

 

He carefully made his way down back to the main lobby sending bows to his seniors as he walked outside.

 

The conversation with taeyong with hadn’t gone exactly how he had expected it to. Granted nothing including taeyong these days goes well. Jaeming wishes he could turn back time, back to when taeyong still had that spark in him. The one that he had when yoonoh was still with him.

Back when taeyong and yoonoh were, well, a thing, taeyong had this sort of aura to him.  One that made him seem happier in general. Taeyong had insisted it was all just a game to him, that yoonoh was just his plaything until he got what he wanted. Yoonoh was dead, which was what taeyong wanted all along, but any sort of compassion that he had once had was gone along with him.

 

Jaemin had one fear with this mission he now has, what if he ended up like taeyong, whom from what he could see, was just plain heartless with no remorse whatsoever. His stomach filled with dread just from the thought.

 

 _No,_ jaemin thought _, i cant end up like him, i won’t. I’ll be fine._

 

_-_

 

Jaemin made his way to the park he and jeno were supposed to meet at, fashionably late by almost 20 minutes. He was able to spot jeno almost immediately, coming to a halt when he noticed that he had his eyes closed. Jeno was perched up against a tree, head bobbing slightly but there was of course nothing to catch it.

 

Jaemin walked over before coming to the conclusion that jeno was in fact asleep. He felt bad for making the boy wait so long to the point that he had fallen asleep.

 

 _He must have had a busy day_ jaemin concludes. _Next time i have to make sure to schedule a date on a day where he isn’t as busy, or at least not this late at night_.

 

Jaemin quietly took a seat next to jeno, hand coming up to gently rub at the other boys nape careful not to wake him up, as he silently stared at him. _He has really pretty eyelashes_ jaemin thought, eyes sightly twinking under the night sky as he took in all the details he could of the boy in front of him.  Jaemin looked around spotting jenos (very) tall bodyguard conversing with someone else, the other person also looks to be another bodyguard. Jaemin took a closer look taking notice that it almost looked as if they were flirting together.

 

He chuckled slightly, finally poking jeno in the cheek to wake him. The older groaned as his eyes fluttered open. His head snapped up probably remembering that he was in a very public park, he turned his head towards jaemin, eyes widening as he took the other boy in.

 

“Holy shit you scared me jae!” jeno said still groggy. “Sorry i fell asleep, i had a hectic day.”

 

“No no it’s fine, you looked cute sleeping so i didn’t mind.”

 

“Only when im sleeping?” jeno said eyes never wavering as they looked into jaemins.

 

“Hmm, maybe it’s all the time, who knows.”

 

Jeno laughed throwing his head back, “please you’re the cute one here if anything.”

 

“Aha see! Even when you blush your still so cute.” jeno said cupping jaemins face with his hands.

 

“I-im not blushing, you just surprised me is all.”

 

“Its a normal reaction to get flustered princess.”

 

“I’m not flustered!” _wait a second._ “Did you just call me princess?”

 

“Maybe i did maybe i didn’t.” jeno lets his hands fall from where they were cupping jaemins cheeks, one hand falling back to his side while the other grabbed jaemins hand.

 

Jaemin sighed in contentment as jeno rubbed soothing circles across his knuckles.

 

“What's wrong jae, you seem stressed?” jeno asked worry apparent in his voice. Jaemin turned his head to face then other boy  “Oh? Do i?”.

 

“Sorry i just got back from talking with my brother so it kinda stressed me out a bit, nothing to worry about.”

 

“If you want to talk about it, i’m always here to listen.” jeno said a small reassuring smile gracing his lips.

 

“Thank you jeno i appreciate that.”

 

Maybe it was the atmosphere. Maybe it was how jenos eyes practically glowed under the soft moonlight. But something in jaemin just felt so warm. It was a fuzzy feeling that took him head on, like a collision of some sort. It was unexpected, just how powerful a single moment could be.

 

In all his years of living jaemin never exactly knew what it was like to be in a romantic relationship with someone, nevermind even come to close to falling in love with someone, this was all extremely foreign to him.

 

So when jaemin leaned forward lips brushing against jenos, with his heart racing at an alarming speed, he didn’t know what to do. With jenos face so close to his, his stomach raging with all the butterflies in the world. He did the first thing that came into his mind.

 

He slid his hand from jenos hold.

 

And ran.

 

-

 

Jeno sat under that very tree for a while.

 

Under the very same tree that na jaemin had almost kissed him under, and then promptly ran away from him under.

 

Jeno had seen something flash in jaemins eyes, almost something like fear. Maybe that was why jeno hadn’t gone running after the younger, nor called his name, he just sat eyes wide from shock.

 

If you had asked lee jeno if he liked the na jaemin he would respond with an affirmative yes. Although jeno was new to the concept of feelings and what not he was able to tell just how much he liked jaemin even though they had met not too long ago, it didn’t matter much to jeno.

 

So when jaemin had ran away more than a shock to him, it was more of a realization that hit him.

 

 _Either he’s straight, or he’s just not interested in me like that._ Jeno hoped he was wrong, maybe the younger just wasn’t ready for a relationship. As much as jeno would hate to admit it, the “almost” kiss had definitely put a damper in his mood. He did feel sparks in that moment when he thought jaemin was going to lean in all the way, he was just disappointed to say in the least.

 

He started walking towards where his guards were situated (secretly flirting, but hey who’s to judge?).

 

Mark was the first one to notice him, his eyes widening slightly not expecting him back so soon. Next was lucas who just bursted out a “hey man how was the date?” at almost max volume. Jeno just waved as an answer walking past them towards his brothers building.

 

The building was a short 5 minute walk from the park (the whole walk was spent sulking over his nonexistent love life.) as soon as jeno entered the secretary got up quickly bowing politely before resuming back to her work.

 

Jeno made his way up the stairs one by one, he could have gone up the elevator but he wanted some extra time to be alone with his thoughts making opt to take the unnecessarily long staircase.

 

As soon as he reached doyoungs office, everything finally came crashing down on him. His lip slightly trembling just as he opens the door. His eyes watering ever so slightly as he took a step into the room. Only to find it dark, the lights turned off meaning doyoung was most likely in a meeting at the moment.

 

Jeno really isn’t the type to let his emotions get the best of him, preferring to rather keep it to himself, so when he fell to his knees small sobs wracking his body, he let it all out.

 

He really did wish he had a normal life. A normal life where he would have someone who would always be there for him, to listen to his worries without him feeling like a nuisance. But instead he was stuck here, with people who rather than treat him as a normal person, treat him like a doll. As if he was something fragile enough to break. Perhaps he was fragile, more so sensitive more than anything, he really did do his best not to let that side of him show. Especially to those who could use it to their advantage.

 

-

 

After about 10 minutes of his silent sobbing jeno finally regained feeling in his legs. Grabbing a black face mask from his pocket he quickly shoved it one making his way out of the room after deciding not to wait for doyoung anylonger. Both lucas and mark were standing outside. Both jumping when jeno suddenly throws the door open, eyes red and puffy and quietly sniffling. Mark stuttered out a small “are you okay jeno?”, neither of his guards having ever seen him in this state.

  
Jeno just shook his head, walking away to head back to his apartment not wanting to deal with anything anymore. He checked his phone noticing he had several missed texts from jaemin. All just mixed varieties of apologies, jeno just pocketed his phone and continued walking not even bothering to look behind him to check if his guards were there.

 

-

 

After jaemin had bolted he was filled almost immediately with regret, every bone in his body screaming at him to turn back, to actually have kissed jeno.

 

But he couldn’t stop, he kept running and running, until his body physically hurt and his breathing coming out in shallow puffs.

 

At first he just walked around thinking of what had just happened. Thinking of just how far deep he already was.

 

 _Maybe this mission just isn’t for me._ Jaemin thought kicking stones around as he made his way back to his dorm room. It was only the third date, yet jaemin had already felt a strong urge to kiss jeno, which definitely wasn’t good, right?

 

Jaemin practically ran into his shared room with renjun flopping onto the bed with a frustrated groan.

 

“Woah what's up with you?” renjun asked from across the room where he was tuning a guitar, god knows where he got it from.  “You were literally all bubbly just this morning thinking about your date with your prince charming.” he adds still focusing on the guitar he was holding.

 

“Injunnie..” jaemin sighed slightly finally gaining full attention of the other. “Have you ever liked someone? Someone who you’re really, seriously not supposed too?”

 

“Um, well that’s oddly specific, i have liked someone but definitely not someone i wasn’t supposed to… please don’t tell me you fell in love with a criminal, i’ll beat your ass.”

 

“First of all i literally kill people for a living but go off i guess. Secondly he’s not exactly a criminal… hes just…”

 

“Spit it out nana” renjun said obviously getting impatient.  
  
“He’s someone i’m supposed to kill.” jaemin said shifting to his side to get a better view of renjun.

 

Silence.

 

More silence.

 

“Are you gonna say anything or…”

 

“Umm hold on im trying to collect my thoughts.”

 

“First of all, what the fuck” renjun muttered obviously not expecting that.

 

“Fair enough”

 

“No seriously. How the hell did you manage to fall in love with someone you have to kill.. Wait oh my god aren’t your missions usually old politician guys, i swear to god if you fell in love with some crusty 60 year old-”

 

“Renjun no!” jaemin nearly cackled at his friend. “He’s your age actually, and really cute, and- ugh i hate this!” jaemin shouted the end which was muffled by the pillow he had stuffed his face into. “Life would’ve been so much easier if i had met him some other way, like at the beach or something, the only reason we met is so i could kill him.”

 

“I really don’t know what to tell you nana, reminds me of taeyong and, uh yeah him.. You can’t really control your feelings though.. But if this person, that you like finds out about all of this, it wouldn’t be the happiest of endings, you do realize this right nana? Also the fact that you’re supposed to uhm kill him..” renjun trailed off at the end not sure what he’s supposed to say to make the situation any better.

 

“I know renjun, it makes everything 100x worse. How am i supposed to go through with this? Even if i’m not the one who ends up killing him taeyong will probably just get someone else to do it instead.”

 

Renjun looked at him with pity in his eyes, “oh yeah, earlier why did you jump on the bed like that looking all annoyed?”

 

“Ah.” jaemins cheeks flushed remembering how embarrassing he had been moments prior.

 

“Well we kinda sorta, almost, slightly, might have, kissed, and i kinda, sorta ran away from him.”

 

“Oh my god you dumb bitch, PLEASE say sike.” renjun said holding his stomach from laughing so hard.

 

“Shut up! I know, i messed up okay, now what am i supposed to do, it’s gonna be so awkward now.”

 

“What do you mean what should you do?? Apologize dumbass!!”

 

“Oh. OH. that’s a good idea. Okay i’ll do that.”

 

Jaemin took out his phone his hands trembling as he typed out a series of apologies, before putting his phone back down praying jeno would see it soon.

 

Jaemin and renjun calmed down after that both deciding to go to bed, seeing as they have to attend a meeting the next day including all the juniors in dream. Usually these meetings were quite frankly a a pain in the ass, lasting almost 10 hours and usually at least 2 people ended up crying but hey, work is work.

 

-

 

It was after the whole 10 hour meeting (which actually ended up being 12 hors much to jaemins displeasure) that jaemin had realized that he was yet to hear from jeno. At first jaemin was understanding, after all he had run away after almost smooching him, but to not reply for this long? Jaemin was more than sulking at this point.

 

Renjun had told him to just call and see if he answers but honestly jaemin was too shy to go through with it, his anxiety hitting peak overdrive when his finger hovered over the small call button.

 

So rather than be smart over the whole situation and give the latter space, he called up his information guy to tell him where he could find jeno. Yeah, it probably wasn’t the best idea to stalk him, nor was it all that ethical but in his defense he was cleary desperate.

 

Jeno on the other hand hadn’t left his apartment since the whole incident, choosing to spend his day holed up in his room until doyoung had called him for some dumb meeting he had to attend.

 

The meeting itself was unproductive. Most of it was just doyoung ready to snap one of his workers necks and everyone else just holding him back. Really just the same old same old. Doyoung had sent him down to the lobby after the meeting grumbling something about “you’re still too young to see this,” and “bitch is gonna wish he stayed home today.” once again really just the same old same old.

 

Of course being the teenager that he is, jeno just couldn’t stay in one place, so  after waiting in the lobby for an astounding time of 5 minutes (new record) he slid out, bowing to the secretary, and made his way to the cafe nearby.

 

The cafe was the same as the last time jeno had visited, an elderly couple in their once again. This time however before he could even think about turning in the other direction a tuft of pink came practically free falling at him yanking him into a booth all in one fatal swoop. Jeno yelped when his arm got tugged not expecting the sudden movement.

 

Said pink tuft was extremely close to him, jaemin had slid them both into the same side of a booth rather than on opposite sides (most likely so that jeno wouldn’t be able to escape).

 

“jeno , can we please talk.” jaemin seemed out of breath from the way he was talking, words coming out in shallow syllables.

 

“Jaemin you really don’t need to explain anything to me i get it.”

 

Jaemin studied him for a moment, eyebrows furrowing as he asked “get what?”

 

Jeno sighed already hating where this conversation was heading. “Its fine, i get that i made you uncomfortable i-”

 

“Wait uncomfortable? I wasn’t uncomfortable?”

 

“Huh? Then why’d you run away?” jeno came for his coffee but instead he got stuck with this mess of a conversation.

 

“A-ah about that… i uhm..” jaemin stuttered his eyes rapidly looking everywhere except for at jenos face.

 

“Okay fuck it.” jaemin sighed “the truth is..i did want to kiss you, but at that moment i realized just how much i actually like you and.. I got scared.”

 

“Scared?”

“I’ve never liked someone the way i like you okay. It was just so.. sudden, that i didn’t know how to react. Im sorry.”

 

“You...you ran because you...liked me too much??” jeno tried his best to wrap his head around all of this sudden information, trying to stay calm.

 

“Well, yeah that’s basically what i’m saying here.” jaemin stared intently at jeno waiting for the olders reaction. In all honesty jaemin really wasn’t planning confessing to jeno like this, actually he was never planning on confessing in general. but seeing jeno in person again just made jaemin feel like he had to get it out there. Before it was too late.

 

“Okay”

 

“Okay?”

 

“I just, don’t know what to say in this situation.”

 

“You could start by telling me if you feel the same way or not?”

 

Jeno sat quietly for a few seconds contemplating his answer. Jaemin was about ready to give up figuring jeno had lost interest when suddenly jeno mumbled out something incoherent.

 

“What did you say?”

 

Jeno looked up a pink tint flushed across his cheeks as he made eye contact with jaemin.

 

“I like you too.”

 

Jaemin blinked once. Twice.

 

“Say it again.”

 

“No its embarassing.” jeno flushed ever pinker if possible his hands shakily grabbing onto the bottom of the hem of jaemins sweatshirt.

 

Jaemin took the opportunity, his hand sliding up to grab jenos chin pulling it up slightly so they were directly face to face. His fingers lightly traced along jenos jaw, enjoying the way jeno would lightly shake away from his touch.

 

Jaemin leaned forward lips ghosting directling on top of jenos, he’s not sure where all this new found confidence had come from but he was thankful because the moment his lips hit jenos, he felt bliss.

 

The way jeno was still shaking under his touch made jaemin greedy for more, snaking his other arm that wasn’t holding jenos face around his waist, pulling him closer than he already was. Jeno whimpered slightly at the sudden movement but still let the younger do what he wanted.

 

After a couple of minutes they finally pulled away, both equally breathless.

 

“You’re not gonna run away this time right?” jeno half joked, his hand carding through the hair on the back of jaemins neck.

 

Jaemin laughed slightly leaning back down to press a chaste kiss on jenos lips.

 

“ i’m never doing that again.”

 

“It’s such a weird coincidence that we ended up at at the cafe at the sametime.” jeno says head resting between his arms on the table.

 

Jaemin leans forward placing his chin on jenos shoulder. “Mm yeah, coincidence. (totally not like moments before jeno entered the cafe jaemins info guy had alerted him that he was finally able to track jeno down, which had jaemin literally sprinting to get to the cafe on time, but no one has to know what really went down, right?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some fluff before more plot starts kicking in~ hope this chapter didnt suck too much sjsks but thank u for reading!!


	3. trippin' when you're gone

Ever since their cafe date jeno and jaemin have been practically attached to the hip, well whenever they had time at least. Jeno currently had a very tight schedule, doyoung making him attend even more meetings than usual, telling him its “for his own good.”. He really did his best not to complain or whine (which didn’t work), trying not to make doyoungs job even harder or even stress him out since he knows how snappy his brother gets when he’s tired.

 

Jaemin was doing as much of his mission as possible without- well- letting his love life interfere. At least that’s what he tells himself as he picks another small lump of ice cream, bringing the spoon up to jenos mouth watching as he happily obliges in opening his mouth to eat the cold treat. Yeah it’s totally not like jaemin was doing all of this because he loved seeing jenos happy face, of course not.

 

The two were currently in jenos apartment, resting on jenos couch while occasionally spoon feeding each other their different flavors of icecream. Jaemin had insisted on them getting different ones, for variety purposes of course.

 

Jaemin really didn’t think that in that span of two weeks from their last date that jeno would invite him to his apartment so quickly. You would think the heir to a massive gang would have more protection or security, if you will, in their apartment. Maybe whatever protection jeno had was just really well hidden, either that or he just didn’t care about his well being while at home.

 

To jaemin this worried him quite a bit, seeing how unguarded jeno could be, even inviting jaemin to his apartment seemed like a risk move on his part. Jeno didn’t actually know jaemin in depth all he knew was the- _innocent version_ , as jaemin liked to call it. It was better off this way, for the sake of both of them, but when he thinks about what it could have been like if jaemin wasn’t sent to kill him (something he seems to forget from time to time.) something in his stomach clenches.

 

After all their late night dates (the only time they both happened to be free at.) he found himself falling deeping for the older if possible. He found himself withholding certain information from taeyong. Not telling his brother just how close the two actually are. He played his cards safely, telling his brother they were simply friends. That jeno had taken a certain liking to him but not in anything other than a friendly point of view.

 

It’s not that he was ashamed of his relationship with jeno or anything, it’s actually quite contrary he wished he could shout from rooftops- to let everyone know that jeno was his. But he was honesty afraid. From the very beginning taeyong had warned him to not get attached. If he learned they were dating he might call off his whole mission and hand it to someone else, someone who could actually do it. Someone who wouldn’t fall in love so easily with the target they’re supposed to kill in cold blood.

 

-

 

It wasn’t until a little after their third date at the cafe where they first got together did jaemin realize just how fragile jeno really was. The older always seemed to curl up into himself like a cat whenever out in public, clutching onto jaemins hand slightly tighter with a frown every time someone walked past them. He didn’t think much of it at first, thinking it was probably just some anxiety he gets with crowds like a lot of others get as well.

 

It was a day like any other, both boys taking a stroll through the park, hand in hand like any other night before. Usually they prefer spending time in jenos apartment or at the cafe they visited frequently, but jaemin had suggested they get some fresh air. At first everything seemed fine, peaceful even. The boys just quietly chatted about their days like they usually do.

 

It was the small change in pace that made jaemin suspicious. The way jeno would turn around eyebrows furrowed and eyes seemed focused on one certain person who was currently walking behind them. At first jeno just turned his head slightly looking the man up and down before bringing his attention back to jaemin.

 

Jaemin took notice of the way the man behind them would quicken his pace whenever they did, he also took notice of the way jenos hand was holding onto his almost uncomfortably tight.

 

“That guy” jeno started bringing jaemins attention back to him. “I might be wrong- but that’s definitely the guy who was following me a few weeks ago, _no_ he definitely is.”

 

“Shit, what do we do?” jaemin asked their steps growing slightly faster. Jaemins remembers when jeno had told him about that encounter. He had grown trustful enough to tell him just how scared he was that day, running from a complete stranger all alone. Jaemin perfectly remembers the look of fear jeno had in his eyes, the same look he has right now.

 

“I-i dont know jaemin, i d-don’t know.” jeno said his words coming out in a flurry, as jaemin started losing feeling in his hand. Jaemin took one more look at jeno noticing how he looked so panicked, tired more than anything.

 

Jaemin didn’t know what exactly to do in this situation, he knew the guy that had been following them, well some what. It was the person his brother had hired to keep tabs on jeno, jaemin had no idea he was this terrible at his job seeing as he’s been caught by jeno twice now. He couldn’t just tell jeno that it was someone he knew because first of all that’d be extremely suspicious and also because he couldn’t just rat the guy out. So jaemin did the only thing he could do at this point. He clenched jenos hand just as hard as jeno was holding his and lead him away.

 

Jaemin calmly walked, noticing how jeno was shaking right next to him. When they go on dates jaemin always looks to see where jenos bodyguards are, for safety precautions of course, this time no matter where he looked, jenos guards were nowhere to be seen.

 

Jaemin abruptly stopped walking, causing jeno to stumble right into his back, a small yelp leaving his lips.

 

“Jaemin what-”

 

Jeno was silenced as jaemin suddenly turned around crashing their lips together, wrapping his arm around jenos waist and pulling him closer. He stroked jenos back to calm him down, his trembling slightly stopping once he felt jaemins lips on his.

 

What jeno didn’t know was that the comforting strokes he had felt on his back was actually just jaemin making signs with his hands. He opened his eyes midway into the kiss looking straight at the man who was following him, signing a quick go away, watching as the man bowed and took his leave.

 

Jeno was the first to pull away, eyes slightly watery. (which jaemin just thought made him look even more ethereal than usual.) “w-what was that for?” jeno asked not moving his eyes away from jaemin. Jaemin brought his hand up as he moved away some of jenos brown hair away from his eyes.

 

“Just felt like it... it drove the guy away too.” jaemin chuckled slightly watching as jeno looked around.

 

“Thank god.” jeno mumbled under his breath resting his forehead on jaemins shoulder.

 

“You should tell someone about this, that guy might be dangerous or something.”

 

“Yeah your right.. I’ll tell my brother, that guy is so suspicious it’s honestly scary, what if i see him again?”

 

Jeno had this look on his face, almost as if he wasn’t used to any of this which was surprising to jaemin. Jeno was practically born into this life, by now he must have had a dozen stalkers, if not more. But what really surprised jaemin the most were the tears that made their way down jenos face.

 

“Oh no baby no, dont cry, it’ll be okay.” jaemin cupped jenos face wiping all the tears that didn’t seem to ever stop flowing out.

 

“I-i im not used to this kind of thing, a-and what if those people want to hurt m-me, what if it doesnt turn okay?.”

 

Jaemin felt a punch to his gut as he watched jeno, not knowing how to comfort him because technically, he was also a key part of jenos problem, he just didn’t know it yet.

 

Jeno sniffled loudly, his cheeks and the tip of his nose were both tainted a pretty cherry color. “I-its scary nana.”

 

“Jeno baby look at me.” jaemin said gently tilting up jenos face with his fingers. “Nothings gonna happen to you okay. Why do you think they want to hurt you?”

 

Jenos looked to the side avoiding jaemins eyes sighing. “You..you remember how i told you i had another brother, right?” jaemin nodded obviously knowing who he was talking about once he used past tense.

 

“W-when he was killed it was really hard for me, i barely ever went out, i was scared the people who had gotten him knew who i was too. It took me a while to finally have enough confidence to finally be able to go out without fear of anything happening to me.”

 

He felt bad hearing this, knowing jeno had gone through such a tough time to get to where he is now. He felt remorseful hearing his words.

 

“I just..those people.. They scare me so much nana, you have no idea.  Even though they scare me, my other brother knows who the ones that killed him were, but he wont tell me, even when i begged. If i knew who they were id kill them with my bare hands if i could.”

 

Jaemin froze at jenos words, the hand that was holding jenos chin dropped choosing to hold onto his shoulder instead. “If it was someone you knew.. If the person who helped kill your brother was someone that you knew, or maybe you were close to said person, would you still kill them?” jaemin asked his voice shaking.

 

Jeno looked up at him, throwing him a smile as he played with the hairs on the back of jaemins neck. “I don’t care who it is, just that they pay for what they did, i don’t know why they’re coming after me now though.. It’s been almost a year.”

 

“What if it was someone really important to you.. Someone you couldnt live without, would you still want them dead?”

 

“Mmm why so many questions? If it was someone i couldnt live without…. It doesnt really matter to me.” jeno said in a firm tone.

 

“Ah i see.” Jaemin fixed his eyes on the now dry tear trails on jenos cheeks, “you know your mood changes are impressive.” he said quickly changing the subject.

 

Jeno made a sound of confusion looking up at jaemin through his wet eyelashes. “You went from crying cause you’re scared of your stalker, to saying you wanna kill the people who murdered your brother.” jeno laughed at that his eyes making the full crescents that jaemin loves so much, in this moment though it only made jaemin feel even guiltier.

 

-

After dropping jeno back at his house (where he spent almost 20 minutes insisting to jeno he could make it home safely by himself.) jaemin made a straight bee line to donghyucks room, ignoring all the stairs he got as he tripped every two seconds walking up the stairs. By the time he got into the room he was already silently sobbing falling to his knees once he closed the door behind him.

 

Jaemin felt a pair of arms wrap around him pulling him up back to his feet.

 

“Nana what's wrong? What happened?” hyucks said his voice sounding raspy, most likely from sleep. “What am i gonna do hyuckie? Am i really gonna have to kill him? I can’t, i really can’t.” jaemin said in choked sobs. Hyuck sighed, letting go of jaemin for a second, grabbing his phone as he most likely texted renjun to come to his room.

 

Jaemin was proven right when not even 2 minutes later renjun came barreling into the room, still clad in his moomin pajamas with his hair sticking up in different places. “Where. Is. he.” renjun said wheezing a little. The sight usually would have made jaemin laugh but not this time, not when he feels so devastated.

 

Hyuck pointed over to where he was currently sitting on the floor in the corner of the room, knees pulled up to his chest with tears still going down his face.

 

“Woah, what happened?” renjun said making his way to jaemin crouching down so he was sitting directly in front of him.

 

“What do i do injunnie?” jaemin sobbed out rocking himself slightly.

 

“Is this about your 60 year old boyfriend you have to kill?”

 

“Bitch what? 60?” hyuck said from across the room eyes wide. “Didn’t you say he was our age? Isn’t he more of a sugar daddy at that point?”

 

“He’s not-” jaemin started speaking but got cut off almost immediately.

 

“Right! I didn’t think jaemins standards were that low to get it with someone that old but hey, to each their own.”

 

“Realistically speaking, i doubt anyone sane our age would fall for a sixty year old renjun.”

 

“Well you never know-”

 

Jaemin let out a inhumane shriek, finally getting the attention of his best friends, he wasn’t even crying at this point, it was more so annoyance that he felt right then and there.

 

“FIRST of all, he’s NOT sixty goddammit, i already told you both he’s our age jesus.” jaemin said glaring at both of them, renjun let out a small giggle at this but shut up when jaemin threw an empty water bottle at him.

 

“Second of all, i came here for advice not to be shamed for dating someone that i’m not even dating”

 

“That sentence made no sense.” hyuck said yawning.

 

“Fuck you yes it did.”

 

Renjun coughed, “anyways jaemin what happened, you don’t usually cry easily. Heck this is probably the first time i’ve seen you cry in years.”

 

“Ew did you just say heck” hyuck said in his raspy voice faking disgust. “Yes the fuck i did.” renjun snapped making hyuck roll his eyes.

 

Jaemin explained to them what happened at the park after everyone had calmed down, leaving out the kiss part obviously. His voice trembled when he told them everything jeno had said, specifically the part about him wanting everyone who killed his brother dead.

 

“Well.. it makes sense for him to feel that way, i mean it was his brother that died.” renjun said scooting close to jaemin to put his arm around his shoulders.

 

“He’s probably just saying it in a way that anyone who lost a family member would.. It’d be totally different if he decided to act on it, you know if he actually found out who did it and well, tried to kill them.”

 

Hyuck looked between them hesitating for a slight second. “Nana i never really asked because it really isn’t any of my business, but the day his brother died, when taeyong killed him..did you help him?”

 

Jaemin stayed silent for a few seconds eyes looking down at the ground. “All-all i did was help get him there, a-and tie him up. It wasn’t me that actually killed him, it was taeyong, i never saw the body, don’t think anyone ever did other than taeyong. But i was the one who knocked him out and left him at the warehouse for whatever taeyong did to him.”  

 

Jaemin took a deep breath “ i didn’t want too, i was against the whole plan from the beginning especially since taeyong seemed so happy, but i can’t go against him, i wish i had, i wish i had tried harder to stop it.”

 

“Oh nana.” renjun sighed, looking at jaemin in pity.

 

“It’s all coming back to bite me in the ass. Ironic how i was assigned to kill jeno but instead he might be the one who gets me first.”

 

“He might not even find out jaemin.” hyuck reasoned, sliding down from his place on the floor to put a reassuring hand on jaemins arm.

 

“If he doesn’t, his other brother will, once he knows i helped, hell once he knows im

even in this gang he’ll either hate me forever or… kill me.”

 

“Taeyong gave me this mission because he said i’d be perfect for it, instead all i’m doing is screwing everything up.”

 

“Listen jaemin, you haven’t known, what was his name? Jeno? Anyways you haven’t known this guy for very long it’s your first love so i get why your like this, maybe you should tell taeyong you can’t do it… it might just get worse if you keep going like this.” renjun said.

 

Jaemin looked at renjun and hyuck before sighing “if i don’t manage to murder him then someone else will.. I’d rather do it myself than leave jenos life to anyone else.”

 

Hyuck and renjun shared glances with each other conveying the same message to each other.

 

“The only thing we can tell you here jaemin is to just do what you think is right.” hyuck said after a short silence.

 

“I will.”

 

-

 

The next day came and jaemin had barely gotten any sleep, it was fairly obvious with the undereye circles he had which he covered (well tried too) with some BB cream renjun let him borrow.

 

He was currently on his way to jenos apartment, feeling uneasy after his talk with renjun and donghyuck. He made his way up the stairs after being buzzed up, taking his time as he looked out the windows placed on the walls of the building. He spent his night thinking about what he wanted to say to jeno. Although in a relationship there were many things unsaid between them, so many lies between many of which jeno had no idea about.

 

he rounded the corner after finally getting to jenos floor, knocking twice on the door before taking a step back waiting for the door to open. What he didn’t expect was for someone other to open the door. For someone other than jeno to be here.

 

Jaemin recognized him instantly- _kim doyoung_.

 

He froze instantly unsure of what to do. His widened as a million thoughts raced through his mind _he might know who taeyongs only sibling is - fuck._

 

Hes snapped out of his haze when doyoung suddenly clears his throat. “Uh you must be jaemin right?, jeno said to just let you in.”

 

Jaemin let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding “ah uh yeah, um thank you.” mentally slapping himself at how dumb he just sounded.

 

He took a step inside, hyper aware of every move doyoung made his senses finally making a comeback after being in hibernation for so long. Once he made the short walk over to jenos room did he finally relax a bit, his shoulders slumping a bit. He opened jenos door taking his appearance- he was wearing an oversized baby blue sweater that were covering his hands as he typed on his phone, his baggy pajama pants reaching all the way down to the floor, jaemin swore he just saw an angel.

 

Jeno looked up feeling a heavy stare, blushing at the way jaemin was looking at him. He made grabby hands at jaemin, who practically flew over to where jeno was seated, placing a quick peck on his lips and taking a seat next to him with a quick greeting. Wrapping his arm around jenos waist and tucking his chin onto jenos shoulder, he had almost forgotten about doyoung presence. Almost.

 

A cough made both boys jump, jenos phone flying from his hand hitting jaemin straight in the face. He cradled his face groaning slightly, jeno fumbling out apologies and doyoung just watching in amusement.

 

“Jeno.” doyoung called tone serious. “You should have told me you had a boyfriend, is there no trust in this household anymore.” he added in a whiny tone.

 

“You don’t even live with me.”

 

“Damn okay i see how it is, how would you feel if i eloped right now and didn’t even bother to tell you? Huh?”

 

“Oh my god i didn’t even elope you’re so dramatic.” jeno said exasperated.

 

“I’m basically your mother yet you won’t even introduce me to your boyfriend?”

 

“Its because you say weird stuff like saying you’re my mom.”

 

“Did i lie though? No.”

 

“Ugh fine, jaemin this is doyoung my brother, doyoung this is my boyfriend jaemin.” jeno finally said crossing his arms in defeat.

 

“Nice to meet you.” jaemin said flashing him an award winning smile.

 

Doyoung eyed him for a second looking like he was thinking about something. “Hmm you look familiar… do i know you from somewhere?” he said more to himself than to anyone else.

 

“No i dont think so.” jaemin said with a nervous laugh. “Hmm okay, well it’s nice to meet you, also jeno i’m gonna be heading out now i have a meeting to attend soon, i’ll send you the details.”

 

Jeno groaned a small “yes mom” as he moved to pick up his phone from where it landed on the floor after assaulting jaemins face.

 

Jeno sat back down, jaemins arms immediately going back around his waist practically dragging jeno onto his lap. “What's up?” jeno asked his arms wrapping around jaemins neck as he snuggled closer.

 

Something in his brain clicked “oh yeah i was supposed to talk to you about something.” Jeno perked up looking up at him “hm about what?” he said in a small voice.

 

“Actually, i know things about you, things you never told me..”

 

“...what?.”

 

“I know you’re in a gang jeno.” if you asked jaemin a half hour ago what he wanted to say to jeno this would definitely not be his answer. He really did panic, he had spewed out the first thing that came into his mind, not really ready to talk about himself just yet.

 

Jenos hands drop from where they were latched onto jaemins neck, they slowly make their way down his chest resting there as he brought his head down, avoiding eye contact. “How did you find out?”

 

“Someone told me a while ago, it’s not important how i found out but i just..i just wanted to let you know that i knew this whole time.”

 

“This whole time? Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you knew?”

 

“I didn’t want anything to change just because of the fact that i knew who you were.” jaemin said shifting a bit.

 

“Everyone has secrets darling, i.. i have secrets too.” jaemin continued “i should have told you sooner that i knew, im sorry.”

 

“I would have told you, but..” jeno suddenly came to a stop shaking his head a bit. “But what? Jeno darling, please look at me.”

 

“I didn’t want you to hate me.” jenos voice broke at the end of his sentence bring his face up, tears already streaming down his face. “I-i know lying is bad in a relationship but i just d-didnt want you to leave me. Im s-sorry.” he hiccuped his way through the sentence. _If only he knew how many secrets jaemin kept from him, he actually will hate him._

 

Jaemin pulled jeno closer lips ghosting right over jenos, “baby i could never hate you, no matter what you did i could never.” he said pulling jeno into a kiss, starting off gently. Jaemin laid small pecks on jenos lips not fully diving all the way. Jeno grew impatient, moving forward finally connecting their lips. He nibbled on jenos bottom lip loving the way he whimpered whenever he did it. “ i hope it’s the same for you too, that you’ll never hate me.” jaemin said unconnecting their lips again.

 

“I could never.” _you might soon_ jaemin thought.

 

Their tongues finally met, going at a slow pace as jaemin sucked softly on jenos tongue, the hand he had one his waist going under his blue sweater feeling the soft skin above his hip bone.

 

It really didn’t go how jaemin had planned, he was honestly going to tell jeno that he was also in a gang, not just any gang but the gang that who’s leader had killed his brother. But he was scared, Jeno could easily have him killed _or worse_ he’d hate him for lying.

 

With jenos lips pressed up against his thats when jaemin really truly realized he couldn’t live without the other boy.

 

-

 

Not keeping track of time the boys stayed in that position for a while, only occasionally stopping for air. It wasn’t until they heard a loud crash behind them did they stop. Jeno jumping out of jaemins lap and covering the bottom half of his face with his sweater paw. Jaemin would have cooed at the other boy had it not been doyoung standing at the doorway, the bowl he was apparently holding still clattering on the floor.

 

Doyoungs eyes looked like they were practically gonna bulge out of their sockets. “Oh my god, oh my god, you guys are like twelve what the fuck.”

 

The two boys sat next to each other neither saying a single word, just watching as doyoung had a mental breakdown right in front of them.  “TWELVE!” doyoung screeched “i’m bleaching my eyes oh my god.”

 

“I didn’t expect you to come back so early! also we weren’t even doing anything that bad!” jeno said which was slightly muffled by his sweater paw.

 

“I can’t believe my innocent pure brother is actually a… you know what nevermind the notes from the meeting are on your kitchen counter. Oh also can i talk to you for a second jaemin?”

 

“Actually a what now?” jeno said defensively, but doyoung had already walked out. Jaemin got up walking towards the door following doyoung giving jeno a look as he walked out. They walked outside the apartment standing in the hallway right outside. “Um, is there something wrong?”

 

Doyoung snorted “you can cut the act now kid.”  jae shook his head in confusion “what are you-” he was abruptly cut off when he was suddenly slammed up against the wall one of doyoung arms holding him in place.

 

“I know who you really are jaemin.”

 

Jaemin stood like a fish right out of water, mouth opening and closing as he racked his brain for something to say, anything to say at this point. “W-what do you mean?”

 

“I know you’re actually lee taeyongs brother.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter... is vv late sjkjs, it takes me about 2 days to write one ch. so expect the next ch. soon!  
> (also sorry about any typos, i suck at editing)
> 
> this whole fic is just jaemin making bad life choices at this point tbh, i was thinking of either making dy someone who wants to seperate jae and jeno or maybe someone who helps them stay tgther??? idk sjsk, but anyways thank u to whoevers reading rn!!


	4. i'm yours to keep

“I know you’re actually lee taeyongs brother.”

  


“W-what?” jaemin sputtered out, hand instinctively coming in an attempt to gain distance from where doyoung had forced him against the wall. It proved feeble as doyoungs arm still forcibly held him in place. 

  


“I think you have the wrong person.” jaemin said trying to sound as confident as he could even though he was probably shaking like a chihuahua in the winter at this point. 

  


Doyoung snorted, the dark glint in his eyes reminding him of taeyongs. “No the fuck i do not.” he said a snarl to his voice. “I knew when i first saw you that i had seen you somewhere, then i remembered a picture yoonoh had shown me a while back. One of you with taeyong. Your brother.”

  


_ Fuck fuck fuck _ , was what jaemin thought, eyes choosing to look anywhere other than directly at doyoung. How could he possibly save himself at this point? His web of tangled lies were slowly being uncovered, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

  


Jaemin thought of taeyong, what would he saw him  _ “hey jenos gang leader brother found out who i am sorry for being such a disappointment haha.” _ well that is,  _ if _ he comes out alive. 

  


“Who told you about jeno?” doyoung asked hand coming up to wrap around jaemins neck putting a slight amount of pressure. “C-cant say.” jaemin said eyes watering. At this the hand around jaemins neck suddenly got tighter. “ i don’t think you understand the position you’re in right now kid, i could kill you right now if i wanted too.”  

  


“If you can’t tell me how you know about him then answer this, what's your motive? Why jeno?” he said practically growling. “L-let me go first, please.” the last part coming out in a whisper, his throat constricting more and more with every bit of force doyoung put in. He finally let go of jaemins neck a agitated sigh coming out as he watched jaemin fall to his knees holding his throat as he coughed roughly. “ i don't have all goddamn day, answer the questions.” 

  


Jaemins mind was spinning, what could he possibly do in this situation? There's no way he could run back into jenos apartment because then he’d have to explain just why his brother had almost choked him to death- which he would really rather die than say. But then again he couldn't give away his whole mission. It could lead to all types of consequences, any action he took in this moment would result in a consequence really. But what he cared about most in this moment wasn't him or even if he got killed in that very moment, all he could think about were the two most important people in his life,  _ jeno and taeyong _ . 

  


Taeyong for one would be disappointed in him, something he didn't even want to think about. He practically lived off of the praise his brother would throw at him when he completed a mission successfully. His relationship with his brother had been strained lately, but nonetheless they were still brothers, one that he would give his life for no matter what. To have to tell him just how badly he's fucked this mission over, he shuddered just at the thought.

  


Then he thought about jeno, how would jeno react once he found out jaemin had been lying their whole relationship? How would he react to finding out he was lee taeyong's brother?. Brother of the man that killed yoonoh, the brother he loved so much. 

  


Jaemin sat silent weighing his options, as he massaged his neck, lolling it to the side as he tried to find comfort. He was brought back from his thought at a sudden cough he looked up to see doyoung standing with his arms crossed, the way they were positioned made it seem like he was looking down on jaemin, which he probably was. 

  


Jaemin chose his next few words slowly and carefully doing his best not to say the wrong thing. “Its.. technically not me who has a motive.” doyoung scoffed. 

  


“Obviously, your brother was the one who sent you, correct? Now pray tell me why after, almost a year,  _ a year, _ does he insist on messing with us again? Wasn't killing.. Wasn't killing yoonoh enough for him?” 

  


“I'm sorry, but even if i knew his motives i wouldn't be able to tell you, just know.. I do love jeno, more than anythings, he is special to me, i couldn't imagine living without him. Although my reasons that i met him weren't the best..” jaemin hesitated slightly. “I love him, i know i have to tell him, i know this, i was just waiting till i was ready.”

  


Doyoungs jaw clenched “ you think i care about your feelings, what matters to me is my brother, not whatever twisted shit you feel for him. I can't let you be around him knowing this information.”

  


Jaemins eyes blurred, his breathing coming out in shallow pants. “Please don't do that please don’t make me stop seeing him.” he moved his head as if he was bowing, the tears coming out before he had even realized it making their way onto his white washed jeans.

  


“Does your brother know you're in love with jeno then?” doyoung asked running a hand through his hair.

  


He shook his head frantically, eyes widening almost comically “i wouldn't even be here if he knew.”

  


“If jeno found out who you actually are..i don't think any amount of love could save that, you do realize that right? What were you even thinking sticking around him for this long, whatever intentions you had when you approached him… i don’t even want to know anymore, you’re fucking sick.”

  


Silent sobs overtook his body, shaking violently, but not even denying because deep down he knew it. He knew jeno would never forgive him. 

  


“Jenos new to this whole concept of feelings, of dating any one in general. This could potentially scar him for a long time.. So im telling you now that as his brother ill do whatever it takes to make sure he stops seeing you.”

  


“Please dont tell him, please, please, dont please dont.” jaemin sobbed out, his arms wrapping around himself. “He’ll hate me, please no.”

  


“I won’t tell him, only because i don't want to see him like how he was when yoonoh died, i can't bear to ever see him like that. Just quietly disappear and we won't have any problems na jaemin.” 

  


And with that he was left there, alone in the lightly dimmed hallway. He doesn't know how long he cried for before he finally got a grip, pushing himself up from where he sat on the floor, dragging his feet as he walked down the long flight of stairs. A part of him yearned to go back up, to wrap jeno in his arms again, even if it's for the last time.

  


-

  


Jaemin made his way to taeyong's office knowing he would be in even more trouble if he did not report what happened immediately. Hic pace was as slow as he could possibly walk, humming some random tune he had heard earlier while passing by a shop.

  


He neck still ached terribly, when he passed by the glass window of a cafe he had noticed the slight bruises that were already starting to form, his fingertips traced the red marks lightly. What am i gonna do jaemin sighed. He was almost at taeyongs building with every fiber of his body not wanting to take any steps upstairs. But he forced his way through the lobby keeping his head down to avoid any social interactions with anybody he might run into.

  


Finally when jaemin arrived outside of taeyongs office he hesitated. It's not that he was scared of his brother _ but he was a hundred percent scared of his brother. _ He seriously had no idea what he was going to say, his anxiety reaching peak when he imagined what taeyongs reaction would be. Jaemin hated seeing him mad, its possibly the scariest things he's ever seen in his life.

  


Shoving his fear to the back of his mind he finally got the courage to open up the doors after idly standing outside for almost 10 minutes, every time his hand would reach for the door knob he would panic and back away again. He stuck his head in first looking around the room, he spotted taeyong sitting at a couch in the corner of the room laptop in his lap as he aggressively typed something out. Jaemin took a step in, pulling his black shirt up in an attempt to cover the forming bruises on his neck. 

  


“Taeyong?” he said, coming out more as a question rather than confidently like how he had imagined saying it. The other boy jumped, obviously to engrossed in his work to notice anyone walk in. 

  


“Oh! jaemin, what's up? I wasn't expecting any reports today?” he said putting his laptop on the coffee table in front of him. 

  


“Uh, i actually wasn’t planning on reporting but something happened..ummmm something that wasn't exactly planned.” jaemin said his hands moving around quickly as he said this. His shirt visibly dropped from where he had tried keeping it up with his hands, but in a rush to explain things he had accidentally let go. 

  


Jaemin stopped his rambling when he saw taeyong stand up, suddenly walking towards him. “Why is your neck all red jaemin?” he asked touching jaemins neck lightly. 

  


Jaemin took a step back “well about that,  _ iranintodoyoungandhefoundoutwhoiamandhekindasortachokedmeandthreatenedmetostayawayfromjeno _ .” he said in a rush panting from saying it so quickly. 

  


“ what the fuck, how did he find out who you were?”

  


“Apparently he recognized me from a photo yoonoh had shown him when you guys were dating.”

  


“Tsk even dead he's causing me trouble.” 

  


“Tae.” jaemin started “what-what now?” 

  


“I trusted you with this jaemin, i should have just picked someone else” taeyong sighed. “Tell me, what was actually your relationship with lee jeno.”

  


“My relationship? I already told you-”

  


Taeyong sighed “you look like you cried jae, your eyes are all red and puffy, you wouldn't be crying like if he was just someone who saw you as a friend, also you’re a terrible liar.”

  


He hesitated looking into taeyongs eyes, but with a gulp he said “Even from the beginning i was never able to see him as just a friend.” his eyes watering once again.

  


“I specifically told you, don't get attached. What do you think i sent you out there for? To fall in love? No, i sent you to kill someone, something you've never failed before in doing. Why was it any different now? Just because he was kind and handsome? If i had failed when i killed yoonoh-” taeyongs voice cracked at the end making him stop for a split second, casting a downward gaze to the floor, he looked back up his eyes seemed softer for a moment before going back to his cold stare.

  


“If i hadn't killed yoonoh we wouldn't be where we are right now jaemin, do you understand that? I have a lot riding on lee jenos death. If you can’t do it then i’ll make sure someone else can.”

  


“No!” jaemin shouted. “I'd rather kill him myself before letting anyone else do it! Please taeyong, don't let anyone else do it, please.”  

  


“No way. It's dangerous enough now that doyoung knows who you are, you won't even be able to get near jeno without being in danger, you'd be risking your life, lay low for now jaemin.  I don't want to wake up one morning to news that my brothers dead. And i'm not asking you, this is an order, if you choose to disobey there will be consequences. Do you understand?” jaemin nodded his head dumbly, stopping his bottom lip from trembling by biting down harshly on it.

  


“Before i go, can i ask you a question?”

  


“What is it jaemin?”

  


“Why jeno? Why kill him when you could just go for doyoung, he's the leader now right? It would make more sense if you'd send someone to kill him, so why, why jeno?”

  


Taeyong laughed “ that's what you want to know seriously?”

  


Jaemin nodded.

  


“Let me tell you a quick story then. Back when yoonoh would come visit me, he would often tell me stories about his family. He would tell me about how close jeno and doyoung were. I remembered that and it got me thinking, imagine how terrible it would  be to lose both of your brothers. Pretty traumatic if you’d ask me, right?” taeyong said adding in a smirk at the end.

  


“So you're telling me you want jeno dead.. To mess with doyoung.”

  


He scoffed “ not just to mess with him jae, how idiotic would that be. When yoonoh met his tragic fate after trusting me of all people, there were rumors going around that their whole gang was in shambles, that the next appointed leader mr doyoung, could barely operate, nevermind actually lead everyone. Lee jenos death would help tremendously in bringing that nuisance of a gang down. Doyoung would be even weaker after losing his only other brother, right? That would be the perfect time to strike, to bring them down if you will.”

  


Jaemin stared wide eyed at taeyong.  _ He was just using jeno to bring them all down? What if someone actually gets to jeno before i can? _

  


Jaemin coughed quietly “tae.. When will you be assigning someone new to jeno?”

“Mmm most likely as soon as possibly, tomorrow most likely, why?”

  


“No-no reason.”

  


“You better not try to interfere jaemin, i don’t need you messing with my plans over your little love affair with your boy toy, understood?.” taeyong said sitting back down placing his laptop back into his lap. “If there's nothing else you can go, and remember lay low.”

  


Jaemin exited the office shaking.  _ If taeyong assigns someone tomorrow, no there is the possibility that he’ll do it today just to get it over with. How can i possibly warn jeno, especially with doyoung around? Maybe it would be best to tell doyoung, just so he can keep jeno out of danger. _

  


He contemplated telling doyoung, but frankly he was scared as hell of what he would do to him if he saw him again, so he crossed that option out. His only other option was to tell jeno, but that would also mean tell jeno the truth about who he actually was. Jaemin quickly took out his phone hoping jeno was awake even though it was almost midnight. 

**jaeuwu**

Jeno r u up??

**Bbynono**

Jae?? Yeah what's up??

**jaeuwu**                 

Can we meet up pls its important

**Bbynono**

Is smth wrong?? 

**jaeuwu**

Ill tell u when i see u

Meet at the cafe in 10

**Bbynono**

Okay 

  


Today was possibly the most stressful day of his whole life, at least that's what he tells himself as he pockets his phone and makes his way to the cafe. He walked quickly hoping to get there before jeno so he could have some time to prepare himself for what he was gonna say. Everything that could go wrong made crept into him. His heart felt like it was gonna fall out of his ass, literally.

  


He stopped in front of the cafe to slow his breathing down, he glanced in through the glass windows making sure that jeno wasn't there yet before making his way inside himself. He smiled to himself as all the fond memories himself and jeno had in this very cafe. From their first kiss to the late night dates they had shared there. 

  


Remembering these things made jaemins heart shatter even more if possible. It was etched into his brain as well as his heart that there was no way jeno would ever be able to forgive him. Who could possibly forgive jaemin for what he did? For all the lies he told. For approaching jeno with cruel intentions, it was something that not even jaemin could forgive himself for.

  


Jaemin would beg on his knees if it meant jeno wouldn't hate him.

  


-

  


Jaemin took a seat in a booth after getting order, hoping the hot drink will help calm his nerves. When the bell rang signaling someones entrance, jaemin didn't even have to look up to know it was jeno. He kept his gaze focused on the drink in front of himself, staring intensely at the smoke that left from the cup blowing softly to help cool it down.

  


It wasn't till he felt a pair of lips on his cheek did he finally look up look up, catching jenos worried glance. 

  


“Jeno, hi.”

  


“What's up jaemin?”

  


Jaemin took a deep breath. Its now or never. 

  


-

_ A few hours earlier. _

  


Doyoung made his way back into jenos apartment, ignoring the way jaemins sobs tugged at his heart. Shutting the door quickly behind him so that jeno wouldn’t be able to hear jaemins heart broken cries. But he knew it was for the best.

  


He did sympathize with jaemin even though he did just almost choke the life out of him but it was for good reasons. Who could really blame him? Afterall he did lose his older brother to the heathen that is lee taeyong. He wouldn't be surprised if jaemin turned out to be just like him, to be someone of no remorse, fueled by hatred. Those feelings were the ones he felt when he discovered who he was. He wanted jeno to live his life in peace until he grew up. 

  


When he went back into jenos room his heart broke at the sight of his brother still sitting there, soft smile on his face as he clicked on something on his phone, completely unaware of everything that was going on.

  


Jeno noticed his presence and also noticed jaemins lack of presence. “Wheres jae?” he said putting his phone down.

  


“He said he had something to do so he had to go.” doyoung lied expertly. 

  


“Did he tell you if he was coming back?”

  


“He looked like he was in a rush, so i don't think so.”

  


Jeno looked up for a second in thought “mm okay i guess. By the way, what did you guys talk about?”

  


Doyoung laughed “ just making sure he wasn’t the type to try to break your heart is all.”

  


“You’re so overprotective gosh.” jeno said a wide smile on his face.

  


Overprotective for a good reason. Doyoung thought.

  


Seeing the way jeno would light up whenever jaemin was mentioned made doyoung feel even worse. His brotherly instincts kicked in wanting the best of jeno, for a split second a thought came across his mind.

  


_ Maybe jaemin is what was best for jeno. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ch is short compared to the rest, bu thats only cause the next ones probably gnna be rlly long hehe.  
> (also there wasnt any fluff in this ch which made me kinda sad skjskj)
> 
> everything has a reason~, jaemins finally telling jeno the truth the next ch!! or is he? sjsksj, i kinda feel bad for making taeyong the lowkey bad guy here sigh, and doyoung (kinda), hopefully it gets better
> 
> ***also pls ignore any typos i suck at editing 
> 
> thank u for reading uwu!!!


	5. and i'm yours to lose

Jaemin took a deep breath. _Its now or never._

 

It all came down to this moment, the moment jaemin had been dreading ever since he realized he was in love with jeno.

 

“Jeno, theres something i have to tell you.” he said, faux confidence dripping from his voice, when his hands were actually shaking from where they were hidden under the table, he wanted nothing else than to just leave. To pretend like everything was fine, but he knew that if he did he would just be putting jeno in even more danger.

 

"Well yeah, i expected that much.” jeno said laughing slightly but stopping once he saw jaemins grim expression. “Babe what's wrong?”

 

“Ive been keeping something from you, something really important about me.”

 

“Something about you? Jaem what are you talking about?”

 

Jaemin inhaled softly, then letting the air exhale sharply through his nose in a deep sigh “what i mean is that remember when i told you i knew you were in a gang? I had told you that i knew the whole time I actually knew that from the beginning, even before we had met.”

 

“Before we met? Jaemin how did you find out, information about me in classified.” jeno asked.

 

“Yes jeno, that information is classified, at least it should be.”

 

“Wait a minute, what do you mean it should be?”

 

“A lot of people know about you jeno, most of them are dangerous people.”

 

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows “how do you know this jaemin?”

 

Before jaemin could explain a hand suddenly slammed on the table in between the two. Scaring them both into jumping.

 

“What a coincidence!” a familiar voice shouted out, making everyone else in the cafe look over.

 

“Doyoung?” jeno asked, eyes looking between both doyoung and jaemin, taking notice of the way jaemin paled and shrunk into his seat. “What are you doing here?”

 

Doyoung laughed nervously “oh you know i was just casually taking a stroll and decided to pop in for some coffee. Actually! While i’m here can i talk to you for a second jaemin?” sending a wide smile to jeno, who looked suspiciously between the two.

 

“Oh um sure i guess.” jaemin said already sliding out of the booth. A hand on his wrist stopped him from moving any further. He turned his head back resisting the urge to coo at the way jenos bottom lip slightly jutted out.

 

“Why do you need to talk to him in private? Can’t you just say it in front of me?”

 

Doyoung gritted his teeth looking impassively between the two boys. “How do you expect me to talk shit about you if you’re still here?”

 

Jeno let jaemins wrist go with a snicker “nana come back when you guys are done talking so we can finish our conversation.”

 

“Of course.”

 

-

 

Jaemin followed doyoung outside shivering at the temperature change.

 

Jaemin seriously hoped he looked at least a bit composed, not wanting doyoung to know he was actually scared out of his wits right now. How could he not be? Last encounter he had with the older he had been aggressively choked and threatened, which was something jaemin could never forget.

 

Even though he was quite literally shaking in his boots right now, he still stood up straight and attempted to put on the most passive face he could muster, key word is he attempted.

 

They reached an alley hidden next to the cafe and stood across from each other, doyoung had his arms crossed against his chest looking up at the night sky as if he was deep in thought.

 

“I assume you already told taeyong about what happened.”

 

“Yes i did.”

 

“What was his response?”

 

Jaemin froze for a split second “why would i tell you-”

 

“Listen kid i’m trying to help you here, i can’t really do that if you refuse to cooperate.”

 

“Help me? Help me how?”

 

“I realized something after our little talk. You don’t seem like your brother, well in the sense that you don’t seem heartless like him, am i wrong? Well anyways i also had a question i’d like to ask. Do you know what taeyong did to yoonoh?”

 

Jaemin blood ran cold “no.. i wasn’t with him when he.. Did it. I don’t know what he did to him, i’m sorry.”

 

Doyoung just shrugged “it was worth a shot to ask. Oh i almost forgot what i came for.”

 

“Earlier you mentioned helping me, what were you going to say?”

 

“Ah that! You need to tell me what taeyong said, its urgent. If he said something about jeno you better tell me, i don’t want to risk anything.”

 

“He.. he took me off of the mission.” jaemin said already regretting saying anything to whom he was supposed to think of as an enemy. But doyoung was right, if he didn’t tell him that would only possibly put jeno in even more danger, which is something jaemin definitely did not want to risk.

 

“He told me he doesn’t want me near jeno anymore, he realized i caught feelings and that i wouldn’t do what i was supposed to anymore.”

 

“What were you supposed to do for your mission jaemin?”

 

“I-i was sent to assassinate jeno.” he answered his voice cracking, his hands at his sides clenching harshly into fists.

 

“Fuck- if you’re off the mission that means he’s just gonna end up assigning someone else.” jaemin nodded his head confirming his statement.

 

“If you love my brother as much as you say you do, you wouldnt want anything to happen to him, right?”

 

“No, no if anything happened to him i don’t know what i would do, i shouldn’t even be telling you this but now that you know, please keep him safe.”

 

Doyoung stood up straighter “he’ll always be safe as long as i’m around.” he took a step backwards letting his back hit the wall. “Before i interrupted, what were you telling him jaemin?”

 

Jaemin shook his head “ i was going to tell him the truth about who i actually am.”

 

“Mm by the looks of it he still doesn’t know?”

 

“No not yet, i didn’t get the chance to say everything.”

 

Doyoung clapped his hands together “excellent! That means i made in on time.”

 

Jaemin made a sound of confusion watching how brightly doyoung was smiling, it almost scared him even more.   

 

“Jeno does have the right to know about all of this, but as his brother i want him to live a carefree life. For now at least, if he finds out the truth i’m afraid it’ll only push him further into not recovering.”

 

“Not recovering? What do you mean?”

 

Doyoung hesitated, furrowing his eyebrows at jaemin. “He never told you?”

 

Jaemin shook his head as a silent no.

 

“I’ll leave it to him then, he will tell you when he wants too. As i was saying, just don’t tell him yet, you may be ready to expose everything but i dont think hes ready to hear it yet.”

 

“But-”

 

“Trust me on this, and wait.”

 

“Doyoung, i probably won’t be able to see jeno again after this, now that taeyong knows he most likely wont let me go out anymore.. I won’t have any more chances, i want him to know before i disappear from his life. Please.”

 

Doyoungs eyes softened catching jaemin off guard “he won’t let you out? Can he even do that?”

 

“He’s my brother and our leader, he can do whatever he wants to whoever he wants, even to me.”

 

“Would you stay with jeno even if it meant going against your brothers orders?”

 

Jaemins eyes widened. Going against taeyong? That was unheard of to him, everyone who did try to go against him were all just met with the same cruel fate. Jaemin wasn’t sure if taeyong would do the same to him if he did. He liked to think taeyong cared about him the same way jaemin cared for him. But when it comes to taeyong you can never be sure, that thought left a dull ache in his heart.

 

But going against taeyong for jeno, that was a whole other thought. It was like asking him to choose between the most important people in his life, how could he possibly do that to either of them?

 

He knew that he could never choose between the two, but when doyoung asked that question all jaemin could think about was jeno. His jeno. And suddenly he had no doubts left.

 

“I would, i would stay with jeno, even if i get killed for it.” he said, the most confident he had been the whole night.

 

Doyoung smirked “that’s what i wanted to hear, you might not be so bad afterall kid. Now listen, i’ve seen the way jeno looks at you, i haven’t seen him that happy in years, for the sake of his happiness, i’m fine with you being with him. That is, of course on one condition.”

 

“What condition?”

 

“Don’t let jeno get harmed in any way, in basic terms, don’t let him come close to death.”

 

“What? You want me to.. Not let him die, doesn’t he have guards, why would you need me?”

 

Doyoung sighed “it’s actually pretty obvious why. You have the most intel, you would be able to tell who the person taeyong sends to kill jeno is. That’s something none of us can predict. I’m not telling you to jump in front of a bullet coming jenos way or anything, at most im saying to be able to push him out of the way. I’m not trying to put either of you in danger, but if there’s anyone in this world who would be able to tell if jenos in danger it would be you.”

 

“But taeyong- he wont let me meet jeno, i was barely able to come today.”

 

“You are 18 right? I can easily put an apartment under your name, that way you wont have taeyong controlling your every move.”

 

Jaemins eyes widened. His own apartment? But that would also mean he wouldn’t be able to see renjun or donghyuck, was it really worth it?

 

“You don’t have to actually stop contact with the people you know.” doyoung said as if reading his mind. “All you have to do is tell taeyong you’re moving out, but you will still continue activity under him, that way you can still be around jeno and your other friends and family. Do you understand?”

 

Jaemin nodded his head “well yes, but why are you going to such extremes? Wouldn’t you have prefered me staying far away from jeno like you told me before?”

 

Doyoung smiled sadly “as much as yoonohs death still hurts, im choosing to believe you are a good kid. One that wouldn’t betray the love he feels for someone else. I hope i’m right.”

 

Jaemins eyes watered as he took in doyoungs words, smiling a bit to himself “ i do love him so much, thank you for trusting me.”

 

Doyoung shot him one last smile, and ruffled jaemins hair before walking off telling jaemin to let jeno know he had to go but to call him when he got home.

 

Jaemin walked back into the cafe, a smile on his face and his eyes bright when he got to jeno laying a small peck on his lips as he has back down in front of him.

 

“What took you guys so long?” jeno asked the pout still evident on his lips, and jaemin tried his hardest to resist the urge to lean over the table and kiss it away. That lasted about five seconds before his heart couldn’t handle anymore, he leaned over the table bringing his lips down to jenos, smiling into the kiss when he heard jenos small squeak.

 

He pulled away just as jeno finally kissed back, making jeno pout even harder. “You didn’t answer my question nana.”

 

“Hmm what was your question again?” he said staring lovingly at jeno as he played with his hand on the table.

 

“What took you guys so long.” jeno said with a huff.

 

“Mmm just talking about some things, dont worry about it.” jaemin said as he rested his head on the table still not letting of jenos hand, closing his eyes in the process.

 

“What were you trying to tell me earlier babe?” jeno said moving some of jaemins pink hair away from his eyes.

 

Jaemins eyes shot opened. _Shit i forgot i was gonna tell him everything._

 

“Oh ahaha ummm i uh forgot?” the sentence coming out as a question rather than a statement.

 

“You forgot?”

 

“Yup haha my memory is just terrible whoops!” the awkward laughing made his excuse ten times worse, jaemin panicked hoping jeno wouldn’t question it because he had no excuses left.

 

“Um okay?” jeno said with a laugh, intertwining their hands on the table. Jaemin was seriously glad jeno was so oblivious. Jaemin watched as jenos eyes drooped with a small smile on his face.

 

“jeno, baby, you look tired, want me to take you home now?”

 

Jeno looked at jaemin a soft whine coming from his lips “i want to be with you longer though.”

 

“I can sleep over if you want me too?”

 

Jeno visibly brightened nodded his head like an excited puppy.

 

As he took jenos hand in his and started their walk towards jenos apartment jaemins mind clouded with thoughts of taeyong. Would he notice he wasn’t sleeping in the dorms today? He knew he would have to talk to him as soon as possible about the fact that he would be moving out. He was praying taeyong wouldn’t take it too badly, and just let him leave.

 

He was abruptly taken out of his thoughts when he noticed it seemed like jeno was swaying next to him. He let go of his hand only for jeno to lean forward as if he was being tilted.

 

“Woah!” jaemin exclaimed wrapping an arm around jenos waits pulling him closer to him. Jeno looked up at him through droopy eyes muttering out a small “huh?”

 

“Wait until you get home before you start falling asleep darling.” jaemin said laughing at jenos confused expression. “Oh sorry, i didn’t realize i was this tired.”

 

Jaemin left his arm wrapped around jeno to avoid any accidents “it was my fault for calling you out so late.”

 

“I got to see you again so im happy.”

 

-

 

The night was basically just spent cuddling the life out of each other, so when morning came jaemin was a bit reluctant to leave jenos bed, loving the way the sun shone over jenos features. It took him ten minutes of staring at a sleeping jeno before finally making his way out of the bed, changing out of his clothes from the day before and putting on one of jenos sweatshirts and jeans, knowing that jeno probably won’t even notice its missing.

 

Jaemin looked back at jeno over his shoulder one last time as he made his way out. With a sigh he entered the elevator, seriously not wanting to leave, after all why would he want to leave jenos comfortable bed just to go see taeyong? (not that he doesnt love him or anything but you get the point.)

 

Jaemin made his way back to the dorms before going to see taeyong, changing out of jenos clothes just in case taeyong was able to recognize they were not his.

 

That morning he had received a text from doyoung (jaemin assumes he got his number from jeno.) giving him all the information of the apartment he had gotten him. Jaemin was eternally grateful for doyoung being understanding of what he was going through, even though in the beginning he was against it.

 

After changing into his actual clothes he finally made his way out to where taeyongs office was. He thinks back to a day ago when he had gone to see him, of how terrified he had been. The only thing he had to worry about was anything happening to jeno, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind not wanting to stress himself out when the day has just barely begun.

 

He silently prays taeyong is in his office this early in the morning, though he wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t.

 

He found his conclusion to be right, when he took a step into his office finding it empty of anyone.

 

Jaemin made his way inside shutting the door behind him. He made his way behind taeyongs desk, noticing the crazy amount of sticky notes attached everywhere.

 

One in particular catches his attention, it was a pink one with bold writing on it. The color of the note didnt pop out much since most were also the same color, no, what stood out were the letters written across the note.

 

“  (***** ** street)

  * J.H.”          



 

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the note, he knows almost every business partner of taeyongs yet a J.H. doesn’t ring any bells in his mind. Also the fact that the handwriting on the note wasn't taeyongs, the address seemed familiar however which made him even more perplexed. He hears footsteps coming down the hall so he quickly took his phone snapping a quick photo of the note before sticking back up onto the monitor.

 

He quickly stood up from taeyongs seat making his way across the room as fast as possible but slowing down when he realized the footsteps had stopped in front of the office.

 

He walked up to the door lightly putting his ear to the door. He was able to make out taeyongs voice, he was on the phone from what jaemin could tell since he hadn’t heard second pair of footsteps with him.

 

His voice was muffled but jaemin could tell from his voice that he was upset. He took a step away from the door since he couldn’t actually hear anything.

 

Jaemin groans thinking he came at possibly the worst timing. If taeyong had been in a somewhat decent mood this wouldn’t have been too bad, but a grumpy taeyong just makes it that much scarier.

 

The door handle finally moves, revealing a very obviously sleep deprived taeyong who looks like he’s quite literally just seen a ghost.

 

He makes eye contact with jaemin, just sighing deeply and taking a seat at his desk “now what do you want jaemin?”

 

Jaemin made a face at the attitude but composed himself with a cough. “I have something to tell you.”

 

“Is it good news? If its not then i don’t want to hear it.” he says in a stern tone.

 

“Well it’s good news for me.’ jaemin says uncomfortably laughing.

 

“Just say it already.” taeyong said his full attention on his computer screen.

 

“Im moving out of the dorm.”

 

The typing which had previously filled up any type of silence there was suddenly stopped, leaving both boys just staring at each other.

 

“You.. you’re.. moving.. Out?” taeyong said dramatically spacing out his words.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Hold the fuck on, who said you could move out?”

 

Jaemin shrugged “i’m a legal adult, i was just waiting till i had money to actually do it.” he was lying through his teeth, because up until last night he had never even considered moving out.

 

“It’s not safe jaemin.” he said sliding out of his, standing next to a window with his arms crossed.

 

“I’ll basically still be here all day and i’ll get my work done, i’ll just be sleeping somewhere else. Nothing will happen to me, i literally trained for 4 years in combat. Me living on my own isnt gonna make anyone want to come after me, i’ll be fine tae.”

 

Taeyong hummed in recognition “it worries me though.” he said with a frown. “There’s a lot of bad people out there that would want to hurt me through you.”

 

“Is that not exactly what you’re doing to jeno? Don’t be hypocrite.”

 

Taeyong laughed darkly “touche, okay i’ll let you live by yourself if you promise me one thing.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“You have to promise not to make any sort of interference with my plans.”

 

“Your plans?”

 

“My plans to take out lee jeno, what else.” he said sarcasm dripping from his voice.

 

Jaemin pretended to think for a few seconds, pretending since he already had all of his answers planned out. “Don’t interfere in my life and i won’t interfere with your plans.”

 

“Interfere in your life? What's that supposed to mean jaemin?” he asked.

 

“Exactly what it sounds like, don’t interfere in my life.”

 

Jaemin had no idea where all this confidence was coming from, maybe it was the fact that in a few hours he would be free from taeyongs overbearingness.

 

Taeyong sighed running his hand through his hair. “If it’s what you want then who am i to deny you. Remember what i told you yesterday jaem, stay away from that jeno kid, it will only do you harm.”

 

“Do me harm? The only person doing me harm is you by trying to keep me away from jeno.”

 

Taeyong laughed throwing his head back in a way that only made jaemin even more agitated. “ please, you’re still a kid jaem, you’ll be over him before you even know it.”

 

“Did you ever get over yoonoh?”

 

Taeyong stopped laughing just to throw a dark glare towards jaemin. “There was never anything to get over. I was and still am fine.”

 

Jaemin felt the urge to punch taeyong right then and there. It was so obvious the older was just trying to convince himself more than anyone else that he was fine. It was a pitiful sight to see, it made jaemins heart wrench. How could someone lie to themselves this much? He hated seeing the way taeyong was practically self destructing at this point. And it hurt, it hurt so damn much there was nothing jaemin could do to fill the void in taeyongs heart.

 

“You’re not healthy tae.” he said his voice barely above a whisper. “Please just listen to me for once and get help, see someone please. If not for you then do it for everyone that cares about you.”

 

“I’m not seeing a fucking therapist jaemin. Im fine and i dont give a shit if you choose not to believe me. It’s your own problem if you think there’s something wrong with me.”

 

“Taeyong, yoonoh obviously affected you, it would help to talk to someo-” he was suddenly cut off as a slam echoed through the office, taeyong threw a book so hard he dented the wall.

 

“And what jaemin?! What the fuck do you expect for them to do?! To fix me or whatever the hell you think is going to happen? What do you expect me to say “yeah i killed the person i loved the most cause i’m fucking insane! This isn’t a game, i can’t be the weak one here jaemin. I choose not to let my emotions out, okay? There’s nothing you can do about it, so just worry about your own damn self.” he said his shouts ringing in jaemins ears.

 

Jaemin stood up making his way towards taeyong but still standing from a distance since he didn’t want to end up like the wall that taeyong had just dented. “No i’m not just gonna worry about myself tae! You’re my brother, i have the right to care about you!”

 

“I did what i had to do. I don’t regret it now because i finally have what i’ve always wanted, power. Im happy jaemin so please just let it go. Im done talking about this.”

 

“You didn’t have to kill him, we both know damn well you didn’t have too.”

 

“Leave. Fucking leave already. I don’t want you here.”

 

“Im saying the truth taeyong whether you choose to believe it or not is your own problem. You can’t dictate my life if you don’t even have your own shit together.”

 

Taeyong looked him right in the eyes, his distaste apparent from the way he was looking at jaemin. “I killed someone i loved already, what makes you think i won’t do it again? It’s in your best interest you listen to me.” he said walking out of the room slamming the door shut.

 

Jaemin stood in the empty room for what felt like ages, letting the words slowly sink in. _taeyong would kill me if i get in the way? Do i really not mean anything to him? How could he even say something like that?_

 

Although there have been many times jaemins been scared of taeyong, in this moment he learned what it feels like to be absolutely terrified of someone.

 

-

 

Jaemin chose to pack his things later on, his conversation with taeyong leaving a sour taste in his mouth (as well as tears in his eyes). Doyoung had asked him to meet at the new apartment after his talk with taeyong to give him the keys, and to find out how the talk went.

 

The walk there took about ten minutes, it would have been shorter but he was dragging his feet. Jaemin did his best to force a smile onto his face but it was becoming considerably harder and harder with every step he took. Even remembering taeyongs face when he said those words to him made jaemin want to burst of crying.

 

He tried thinking about jeno instead, thinking of his smile and his kisses, and that pretty soon he would be back in his arms again. It did help, eventually he found himself with a real smile on his face rather than the forced one he had been sporting which honestly just made him look crazy.

 

When he finally arrived at the apartment complex, it looked almost identical to the one jeno lived in, they were also close to each other which jaemin considered a huge plus.

 

Jaemin pushed the door into the lobby, going to the receptionists desk and requesting the room number to be buzzed up into. He knocked on the rooms door after taking a painstakingly slow elevator ride.

 

The door swung open revealing a smiling doyoung. Jaemin felt some of his tension ease away at the careless smile on the olders face. “Yikes what happened over there? You look exhausted.” doyoung said ushering jaemin inside.

 

“My talk with tae was.. Eventful to say in the least.”

 

“Eventful? Did he not want you to move out?” he said with furrowed eyebrows still leading jaemin over to the couches in the living room where they both took a seat at.

 

“It’s not that, it was actually pretty easy to convince him to let me leave. He said i could go as long as i dont interfere with his plan.”

 

“His plan to kill jeno?”

 

“Yeah.. then-then he said if i get in the way that- he doesn’t mind getting rid of me too.”

 

“Oh jaemin.” doyoung said pulling jaemin in for a hug, letting jaemin softly cry into his shoulder for a few minutes. “ you don’t have to worry about him, i won’t let him even attempt to lay a finger on you. And dont forget im here for you and jeno, you’re not alone, okay?” jaemin nodded his head a smile making its way onto his face.

 

He was _seriously_ grateful for doyoung.

 

-

Doyoung had left about a half hour of jaemin being there. He had shown jaemin around the whole apartment, when he had gotten a sudden business call. Something about “ _showing these punks whos in control_ ” , but jaemin tried not to think about it too hard.

 

He decided to spend the rest of his morning just lounging around his new apartment. Doyoung had gotten pretty much everything installed already so all jaemin had to bring were all his clothes and personal belongings. He felt bad for making doyoung spend so much on him but doyoung had just laughed saying it didn’t even dent his bank account, which made jaemin feel a bit better.

 

He only stopped lazing around when he got a call from jeno, who just grumbled into the phone about why jaemin wasn’t there anymore, with jaemin telling him he’ll be back just so he would stop complaining.

 

He did eventually make the walk back to jenos apartment with some takeout he had picked up (that jeno had requested). When he got their jeno was still in his pajamas even though it was already two in the afternoon. Jaemin is absolutely whipped however so when he saw him in his pajamas and his hair still ruffled, jaemin did the first thing that came into his mind which was pinch his cheek and make cooing sounds at jeno. (jeno retaliated by smacking his hand away and stealing the food since he was still upset at the fact that he woke up alone.)

 

“Where did you go this morning?” jeno asked through a mouthful of food after both of them finally got comfortable.

 

“Had to go talk to my brother.” he said shrugging leaning his head onto jenos shoulder and wrapping his arms around his middle.

 

“You never really talk about him.”

 

Jaemin snorted “for good reasons babe.”

 

“Hmm? What's that mean?” he said turning his head to the side so he could get a better view of jaemin. Jaemin closed his eyes in his attempt to avoid eye contact. “Nothing darling.” jeno hummed at his response which make jaemin calm down, he naturally melted into jenos side, patiently waiting for him to finish eating so he would give jaemin attention.

 

“There’s something i wanted to ask you.” jeno said surprising jaemin from his calm state.

 

“What is it?” he said sitting up so he wasn’t leaning on jeno anymore.

 

“Yesterday at the cafe, what were you going to say to me before doyoung showed up?”

 

Jaemins eyes widened “what i was...going to say?”

 

“Yeah, i couldn’t stop thinking about it. Before you left with doyoung you said you had been lying to me for a while now..it sounded important, what was it about jaemin?”

 

Jaemin was stumped, he felt bad for lying of course but in this situation there was really nothing he could do but that. “It was nothing important, i was stressed about something but it got resolved so it’s fine.”  he said nodding his head along with what he was saying.

 

“Are you- oof!” jeno got cut off when jaemin suddenly pushed him so he was lying on his back.

 

The more jeno asked questions the guiltier jaemin felt. So he did the only thing that could shut jeno up. He pushed him down quickly attaching their lips before jeno could say anything else.

 

Jenos hand instinctively came up to grab at jaemins nape.his fingers playing with the hairs on his neck as jaemin deepened the kiss. He refused to let jeno let go for air, stubbornly keeping their lips together until jeno finally opened his mouth letting jaemin push his tongue in.

 

Jaemin pinned both of jenos hands about his head, sucking on his tongue even harder when he heard the whines jeno would let out.

 

It wasn’t until a few minutes later did jaemin finally slow down after noticing how motionless jeno felt under him. When he disconnected his lips, a string of saliva connected between them, jaemin felt breathless looking at jeno. Seeing how flushed his skin looked, how shiny his pink lips were, it made jaemin want kiss them even more. But he held back not wanting jeno to pass out from lack of oxygen.

 

He let go of his wrists and sat back down, pulling jeno up with him.

 

“what -what was that for?” jeno mumbled cuddling into jaemins side.

 

“Just felt like it.”

 

“If you don’t want to answer my questions just tell me instead of becoming the kissing monster gosh.”

 

Jaemin laughed at that and was about to respond when his phone suddenly buzzed from where it was on placed on the coffee table Jeno whining when jaemin suddenly got up to retrieve it.

 

Jeno looked up seeing to see jaemin standing looking at his phone with an unreadable expression.

 

“What's wrong babe?”

 

Jaemin was pulled from his trance off staring at his phone when jeno suddenly spoke, pocketing his phone quickly.

 

“I’m sorry baby i have to go.” jaemin said walking over to jeno and placing a quick peck on his lips. “Did something happen?” jeno asks in a worried tone.

 

Jaemin threw him a tight smile “not yet.”

 

Jaemin made his way out of the apartment complex, tapping at his phone extremely fast, his finger hovering over the call button before reluctantly pressing it.

 

“Hey taeyong, we have a problem.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everytime a problem gets solved a new one comes up skjs, can yall guess whats gnna happen next ch? hehe. also i have twt if u wnna check it out its @selenastae !!, thank u for reading, also i rlly like reading ur comments so thank u all!! ill try to get the next ch out soon oof


	6. wear you like a necklace

Jaemin opened his phone furrowing his eyebrows when he sees the mysterious notification from an unknown number. He quickly unlocked his phone noticing it wasn’t just a ordinary text message. No- it was a picture, to any other person it most likely would have creeped them out. It was an airport shot of a man, wearing all black from head to toe, even wearing a black mask that was covering most of his features. The only prominent features that could be clearly seen were his eyes, as well as his light auburn hair. Even then though jaemin could easily tell who it was, jung yoonoh. 

 

He could also very well tell this photo couldn’t have been taken before his death, yoonoh had never had a light shade of brown as a hair color before. He had mostly stuck to darker shades of brown and black, always saying he prefered the way the dark ones looked on him, how they made his features pop out more.

 

Jaemin had no doubt in his mind that this was yoonoh, hell he was one hundred percent certain, but how? Yoonoh was long dead, none of this seemed to add up in his mind. Calling taeyong was the last thing jaemin wanted to do in this moment, especially after the intense fight they had that day, but taeyong was  _ really _ the only person he could call in this moment. He couldn’t tell jeno, because well that’s pretty obvious, and as much as he wanted to trust doyoung a part of him was still weary of sharing certain information with the older,  _ especially _ if it was about his dead brother.

 

Leaving jenos house so soon after just getting there annoyed him but from the stab in his gut and the way his head was throbbing he knew he couldn’t keep from letting taeyong know about this any longer. In the back of his mind he thought about the note that he had found in his brothers office, the J.H. he had seen that was not his brothers handwriting, but he pushed to the back of his mind as he left jenos apartment. 

 

A breeze hit him as he made his way outside, he gripped his phone tightly as he held it up to his ear waiting for taeyong to pick up. He almost gave up, deciding he might as well go to his brothers office again. That is until the other line finally picks up. Jaemin sighed in relief since he honestly wasn’t ready to go back to that office again.

 

“Hey taeyong, we have a problem.”

 

“Another problem?” taeyong said into his phone, his voice sounded distant which meant he was probably had his speaker phone on.

 

“Is there anyone there with you right now?”

 

“With me? No, im at my apartment right now, listen if its nothing import-”

 

“Be quiet for a second, i’m going to send you a picture right now, tell me what you think.”

 

Jaemin didn’t even hear his response as he quickly went to the chat with the unsaved number, saving the picture and quickly sending it to taeyong.

 

He brought the phone back up to his ear as he waited a few moments. 

 

“Did you see?”

 

“Jaemin this better be a fucking joke.” taeyong said, even through the phone jaemin could tell he was gritting his teeth.

 

“Do i sound like i’m joking? A random number sent me that today.”   
  


Taeyong stayed silent for a few seconds. “Jaemin, he’s never had that hair color before, even before we started seeing each other he never had that color. Is it fake?”   
  


“Are..are you sure you actually you know, killed him? Like actually finished him off?”

 

Another silence followed, taeyong groaned loudly into the phone and a loud slamming noise echoed through the line. “I-i don’t know, with what i did he there’s no way he could even be breathing right now. There’s no logical explanation for that picture. Fuck just send me the number that sent you that picture, i’ll send it to someone to track it. Actually come to my apartment and give me your phone, it might help to track it faster if it’s from the device that got the main message.”

 

“Okay i’ll be there soon, aren’t you supposed to be at work though, why are you at your apartment?” jaemin asked turning around midstep to go to taeyongs apartment which was a completely different way than from where his office was.

 

“I wanted a break, too much stress for one day. I’ll see you here.” and with that he hung up, leaving jaemin to himself. He was almost tempted to call jeno, or even renjun just to fill up the lonely silence that accompanied him.

 

He took out his phone and stopped at the supposed picture of yoonoh. Things just didn’t add up, taeyong had been certain he had finished the job off, so why- no how- did that picture even exist? 

 

Jaemin thought for a second, what if he didn’t actually kill him? What if taeyong had that intention in the beginning but had second thoughts? That could explain how he could suddenly turn up alive, but the one thing that jaemin could not explain for the life of him was why would taeyong do that when he seems to despise him so much now? 

 

He made his way up to taeyongs apartement (more like penthouse) slowly. His thoughts were getting the best of hims, just thinking of meaningless theories that are stressing him out even more. He ran his hands through his hair as he entered the pin to enter, sighing lowly opening the door and entering slowly.

 

He walked in silently, taking off his shoes at the entrance and making his way to the living room. He spots taeyong huddled next to a bunch of pillows and blankets biting his nails as he stared of into space. 

 

“Tae..” jaemin began, stopping when taeyong looked up at him. The bags under his eyes were defined, making him look extremely tired, as well as his hair was unruly, the pajamas he was wearing even added to the effect of his tiredness.

 

“Jaemin! You took so long.” he said standing up and walking towards him quickly.

 

“Its cause i was walking.” jaemin said as he handed his phone over to his brother. He took a seat on the couch watching as taeyong connected his phone to the laptop he had on his lap. “How could this have happened?” taeyong murmured staring at the picture again squinting at the brightness of the screen.

 

“Tae, are you absolutely sure you killed him, were you the only one there? Maybe someone could have been watching you two, is it possible that someone was there to save him?”

 

Taeyong ran a tongue over his dry lips in thought. “No, there’s no way. I have pretty sharp sense so i would have been able to tell.. It’s even hard to believe he could have survived through all of what i did.”

 

“Why do you sound relieved?” jaemin asked not daring to look away from taeyongs face. He was glad he didn’t when he saw taeyongs expression form into one of confusion, his usual passive expression now something that in jaemins opinion made him look alot younger, cuter even.

 

“I don’t?” he said biting his lip, sounding uncertain himself. Jaemin smiled slightly to himself at his brothers response still keeping his eyes on him in case of any new reactions.

 

“Anyways you know how i was telling you that i was going to arrange someone else to take out lee jeno, i’m gonna have to put that on hold for now. Too many things are happening and i’d rather just deal with them one at a time rather than go headfirst into everything.” taeyong said typing into his laptop at an abnormally fast rate.

 

“Oh okay.” jaemin said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible when he, in reality, was quite literally losing his shit on the inside. 

 

A small fuck caught his attention taking him out of his thoughts “the number isn’t trackable.” taeyong said burrowing his head into his hands.

Jaemin blew some air through his nose in a sigh “now what then?”

 

“We are gonna have to wait till he, or whoever sent that picture makes another move. Try texting the number and see what they want, they might accidentally give something away.” taeyong said with a shrug handing jaemin his phone back.

 

Jaemin silently nodded, pulling up the chat with a random number. “What should i say then?”

 

“Just ask normal questions anyone would ask when they get a text from a random number, like who is this? Stuff like that.” taeyong said cuddling into a pillow he had on the couch next to him.

 

*****-***-******

Attachment

 

**jaemin**

Um, who is this?

 

*****-***-******

Nothing to say about the picture?

 

Jaemin gulps at the response shaking as he types something else.

 

**jaemin**

No, there’s nothing for me to say

Who is this?

 

_ ***-***-**** _

Where is the fun in me revealing everything so quick? Don’t you have more important questions to be asking?

 

Jaemin showed his phone to taeyong with shaking hands. Taeyong skimmed through the texts quickly, the exasperation clear on his face. “Ask him when the picture was taken.”

 

**jaemin**

Okay then… when is that pic from?

 

*****-***-******

Do you really wanna know?

 

**jaemin**

Yes

 

*****-***-******

A week ago

Isn’t that exciting?

 

Taeyong was looking from next to him. both brothers staring at the phone with the same confused look.

 

**jaemin**

Where was it taken??

 

*****-***-******

Hmmm.

Closer than you think.

 

**jaemin**

Why are you texting me and not anyone else?

 

*****-***-******

Because you know more than what you let people let on.

 

**jaemin**

Wdym?

 

*****-***-******

Look at you. Brother to lee taeyong but dating lee jeno? Truly a mastermind. Reminds me so much of your brother.

 

Jaemin looked over to taeyong just as his brother sucked in a breath. “Its someone who knew me or knows? Could it be him..” taeyong said mumbling out the last part 

 

Jaemin greatly appreciated the fact that taeyong didn’t seem to notice the part about dating jeno. 

 

**jaemin**

How do you know my brother?

 

They waited but the responses stopped, the three dots disappearing after only typing for a minute or so. Taeyong groaned “they’re dodging the question.”

 

“Yeah i don’t think they would answer something that could probably give them away so quickly.”

 

Jaemin realized that this was one of the only moments he has shared with his brother, one where they weren’t constantly at eachothers throats. Part of him wished he could turn back time to when things were so much simpler, but then he remembers jeno and that thought vanishes from his mind.

 

“Shit now what? The number is untrackable and all of this is giving me a really bad feeling.” taeyong said running a hand through his already messed up hair.

 

“The number stopped responding when we asked how they knew you, do you think it could be someone close to yoonoh, or even yoonoh himself?”

 

Taeyong paled “even if he was alive what would he gain from messing with you of all people?’

 

“Maybe he’s trying to get to you through me? It kinda makes sense if you think about.” jaemin said clicking on his chat with jeno and noticing he had a few missed texts already.

 

Jaemin stopped typing a thought coming into his mind. “Actually tae, ive been meaning to ask you about something.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Earlier when i was in your office i was sitting at your desk, and i saw a sticky note on there that wasn’t your handwriting, it had the initials jh on it?”

 

Taeyong scrunched his eyebrows “jh? I’ve never heard of it.”

 

“It was on your desk though?” jaemin said, giving his brother a confused glance.

 

Taeyong just stared at him and jaemin grew impatient, he went to his photo app pulling up the picture he had taken earlier. “look , this one.” he said practically shoving his phone in taeyongs face.

 

“Um yeah no i’ve never seen this before, the handwriting seems familiar but it’s definitely not mine.” he said staring intensely at the photo. “Are you sure it was on my desk? I think i would have noticed it there..”

 

“It’s even the same color as the rest of all your other notes.” jaemin said still not understanding what was happening.

 

“I never put this up- wait, was anyone else there when you went in? Someone must have put it up because i remember every note i put up. And this address.. I don’t have any business there.” he said scrunching and unscrunching his eyebrows .

 

“No, it was just me there. Maybe you put it up and just forgot?” taeyong sighed “i definitely would have remembered, who even is jh?” he said grumbing. 

 

Taeyong handed the phone over to jaemin “when i go over to my office i’ll check it out i guess.” 

Jaemin nodded somewhat glad he brought it up to his brother, but still unsatisfied since he got no clear answer. He spaced out staring at his phone thinking about what he was going to do after this. Maybe go back to jenos? But jaemin decided against it, instead deciding to pay doyoung a visit. He did have some good news after all. He almost shook with happiness when he remembered what taeyong had said earlier about calling off jenos case for a while. Although everything was still a mess he could still have some sort of peace of mind knowing that jeno wouldn’t be in danger for now.

 

Taeyong shifted next to him pulling him out of his daydream. He watched as the older pulled himself up, wobbling over to the next couch over. Everything happened so fast, one second taeyong was reaching for his laptop and the next he was suddenly fast first on the floor. His body crumpled down so fast, as if it happened in fast motion.

 

“Tae!” jaemin screamed running over to his brother. He pulled him up lightly making sure not hurt him. Jaemin put a hand to taeyongs face, taking notice in how hot he felt. 

 

A fever.

 

“I always told him he pushes himself way too hard” jaemin mumbled to himself pulling taeyong up, wrapping an arm around his waist, dragging him to his room. “God when did he get so heavy.” he said grumbling as he laid taeyong down on his bed, wrapping him with the blanket. He made his way back to the kitchen, quickly fetching some water and some medicine from the cabinet and placing them on the drawer next to taeyongs bed. 

 

He sighed looking down at taeyong. 

 

“I’ll be back soon tae.”

 

-

 

Jeno wasn’t dumb.

 

Oblivious, yes, but dumb not exactly.

 

He knew something was going on with jaemin, he was extremely observant when it came to the case of observing how someone acts. It was something he prided himself on, being able to read people so well. 

 

In the beginning he couldn’t read jaemin very well, but jeno could always tell he was hiding something. He never really thought about it too hard thinking jaemin would tell him when he thought the time right.  

 

But then doyoung entered the picture. And it’s not like he didn’t trust them, on the contrary, he trusted both of them with his life. But he couldn’t help but think back on their last cafe date, when doyoung had suddenly shown up, taking jaemin with him for so long. 

 

Jaemin seemed like he wanted to talk about something that day, even his aura had been in an extremely bad mood but after his talk with doyoung he suddenly came back happier which jeno couldn’t wrap his head around.

 

After thinking about it long and hard, that’s how he found himself patiently waiting in doyoung’s office for his brother to finish his meeting. He had many questions prepared to ask considering he spent so much time thinking about.  

 

He had already been waiting a solid 20 minutes, all of which was spent with his head laid on his brothers desk staring at clock and counting the minutes that went by, he was that bored.

 

The sudden knock on the door made him jump, he cursed under his breath at the sudden scare, rolling his eyes thinking it was just one of his bodyguards asking if he needed anything. 

 

“What?” he asked in an irritated tone hoping whoever was behind the door would get the message and leave.

 

The knob suddenly turned a floof of pink hair appearing from behind the door, “he doyoung, i just had something to tell y-” jaemins words suddenly caught in his throat noticing it wasnt doyoung sitting there but his boyfriend. _ Shit. _

 

“Jaemin? What are you doing here?” jeno asked getting up from his seat incredibly fast, walking so he was right in front of jaemin.

 

“D-darling i didn’t think you would be here.” jaemin said laughing nervously, walking closer to jeno and fidgeting with his hands.

 

Jeno took a step backwards “why are you here jaemin.” he said in a stern voice but the tired look on his face made jaemin want to give him the biggest hug. _ Maybe later _ he thought.

 

“Oh um, i just had to talk to doyoung about something.” jaemin said a dumb look on his face.

 

“What did you have to talk about with my brother?” 

 

“Nothing important baby, dont worry about.”

 

Jeno threw a glare “how am i not supposed to worry when you’re giving my brother visits to talk about who knows what without telling me.”

“It’s not-” jaemin started getting interrupted when the door suddenly swung open, revealing a very exhausted looking doyoung.

 

Doyoung looked at both of them, staring with wide eyes. “Well this is a surprise.” he said taking a seat at his desk where jeno previously said. “Woah what's with the tension between you two, did something happen?” he asked fiddling with a pen on his desk. 

 

“Ask jaemin.” jeno spit out bitterly.

 

“I already told you there’s nothing-.”

 

“Oh please that’s bullshit and we both know it! just tell me the truth for once.” jeno said cutting him off. “Maybe if you actually let me speak i could explain!” 

 

“Even when i do let you speak all you do is lie to me even more!”

 

“Well-” a loud bang cut him off, again, the both huffed looking at where the sound came from to see doyoung standing his hands perched on his desk, glaring at both of them. “Would someone please tell me what's going on instead of arguing like a married couple!”

 

“Jenos being unreasonable!” jaemin yelled just as jeno yelled out a “he’s lying to me!”

 

Doyoung rubbed at his temples “okay both of you take a seat. Jeno what exactly is jaemin supposedly lying about?”

 

“When he came up he said he had to talk to you but when i asked he said it wasn’t anything important. Well if it isn’t important then why won’t he tell me-” 

 

“Maybe cause it’s none of your business.” jaemin interjected slumping into his seat. Jeno threw another glare his way, turing his attention back to doyoung. “Both of you are acting sketchy actually!” 

 

“Me? What did i do? I’m a bystander!” doyoung shouted back, his impatience growing by the second.

 

“You’re both hiding something from me! What did you guys talk about at the cafe, huh?”

 

Doyoung and jaemin made eye contact both staying silent not knowing what to say next.

 

“You guys are hiding something from me.” jeno said sadly after a few seconds of silence. “Can’t you two just be truthful with me?”

 

“Jeno.. it’s nothing important trust me, you’re better off not knowing.” doyoung said after more silence.

 

Jaemin sat there in silence not sure of what to say, until he felt his phone buzzing from inside his pocket. He opened it noticing at least ten missed messages and two calls missing from taeyong. 

 

His screen suddenly flashed another call coming through. Jaemin hastily picked it up, worry seeping through his mind, his hands sweating from gripping the seat so tight. 

 

Doyoung and jeno both looked at jaemin, the boy looking pale and shaking. 

 

When he picked up the first thing he could hear was crying?

 

Jaemins head was spinning, he stood up his legs feel weaker by the second. “Tae? Tae, what's wrong?” he said quickly into the phone taking notice how doyoung tensed when he said his name. 

 

Another sob came from the phone “jaemin. Jaemin, he was here, he was here i saw him.” taeyong said muffled through the phone. Jaemin stopped his pacing “who-who was there.” he said in a low voice but the room was quiet enough for them to hear everything jaemin was saying.

 

“Yoonoh, yoonoh he-he was here, i swear he was here he’s alive jaemin, he’s alive.” he said sobbing louder, his cries broke jaemins heart, he gripped the closest thing next to him shutting his eyes. “Tae, are you absolutely sure? Last time i saw you, you had a fever, are you sure you didn’t just imagine it?” 

 

“No-no jaemin he was here im sure, my windows broken, i don’t know how he got up since im on the third floor, but he was here, he-he hugged me jaemin i-i don’t know why he did that, i thought he was going to kill me. But i know for a fact that he was real!”

 

Jaemin looked up making eye contact with jeno then with doyoung before shutting his eyes again. “Breathe, okay? Panicking won’t help, okay. He’s not there anymore right?”

 

“N-no he’s gone.”

 

Jaemin took a deep breath “where are your guards?” he said looking at jeno and noticing the way he furrowed his eyebrows at the mention of guards. 

 

“Outside my apartment. I don’t want them to see me like this.”

 

“ god what should i do?” jaemin muttered rubbing his face with the hand that wasn’t holding his phone.

 

“Jaemin what's wrong?” jeno said in a small voice, looking at his boyfriend with wide eyes.

 

Jaemin shook his head “do you want me to come over?” he said into his phone., 

 

“Please.”

 

Jaemin hung up staring at his phone for a few seconds before turning his attention back to jeno. “I have to go. Let’s talk later.” he said walking out of the office as quickly as his legs could take him, running in the direction of taeyongs apartement. 

 

Jeno and doyong stood in his office, jeno was shaking from what just happened. Every bone in his body wanted to run after jaemin but he didn’t want to cause any more stress for then younger. 

 

Doyoung noticed the panic on jenos face and put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, he’ll probably get back to you soon.” 

 

“Yeah..” jeno said with uncertainty. “You never answered my question by the way, why won’t you be truthful with me?”

 

Doyoung sighed “you’ll find out someday kid, don’t let it bother you too much.”

 

“Why do i have to wait for someday? Why can’t you just tell me now?”

 

Doyoung started walking towards the door “one day you will understand.” which was the last thing he said before exiting his office. 

 

Jeno sat there for a couple more minutes thinking about jaemin and doyoung, thinking especially about that phone call jaemin had gotten. He remembered hearing the name “tae” a couple of times. He sat thinking for a second the names tae and jaemin seemed to ring a bell in his mind, but he just couldn’t connect the dots as to why. 

 

Tae? Tahyun? Taejohn? Taehyung? No matter how many tries he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. 

 

So why did it seem familiar to him?

 

-

 

Jaemin was panting heavily by the time he got to taeyongs front door, nodding at the guards who moved away from the door to let him in. he threw the door open running to taeyongs room.

 

He ran in, noticing the lack of any lights. “Taeyong?” he whispered kind of creeped out at how dark it was. A soft “here” could be heard through the room which was enough for jaemin to turn the lights on, he walked over to taeyongs bed. 

 

Taeyong himself was a complete wreck, his cheeks and nose were both a cherry red, with tear tracks running down his cheeks. His breathing was even worse than jaemin, who had literally just ran for more than twenty minutes straight. 

 

“What exactly happened?” jaemin asked taking a seat on taeyongs bed next to him wrapping an arm around him to comfort him.

 

Taeyong coughed lightly before answering “ i was asleep when i suddenly heard a window break, i was about to call for my guards when-when i saw him. It was yoonoh, jaemin it was actually him.” taeyong sniffled when more tears made their way down his cheeks. “He-he came up to me and i had a panic attack cause-cause i thought he was going to kill me, i thought, i thought he wanted revenge i was so scared, but when i started crying he just hugged me. It was so scary jae i couldn’t even move.” taeyong stopped to take a deep breath. 

 

“While he was hugging me… he kept whispering something. It was hard for me to understand him at first but then i noticed he kept saying the same things over and over.”

 

“What did he say tae.” jaemin said in a whisper. 

 

“I forgive you, it’s okay.” with that taeyong sobbed harder, jaemin pulled him into a hug, letting him cry into his shoulder.

 

Jaemin himself was shaking too, this was all just way too much for him to understand. How could yoonoh even have survived? And why was he coming to taeyong rather than going to his family who still think he’s dead? 

 

Jaemin pulled taeyong away from him “what happened after that tae?” his voice trembling. 

 

“He suddenly stopped hugging me, i-i guess it’s cause i wouldn’t stop crying and he-he said he’d visit again soon, that-that next time he wants to see me smile. I’m scared jae, im so scared.” 

 

“It doesn’t seem like he wants to hurt you..  Why did he approach you even after all you’ve both been through?”

 

“I don’t know, i just, i just want him to leave me alone. I don’t know what to do.” taeyong said grasping at his hair, his eyes screwed shut.

 

“Tae, answer me honestly, do you still love him?”

 

Taeyong opened his eyes, staring at jaemin for what felt like an eternity. “I don’t know.” he said in a whisper. Jaemin sighed pulling taeyong back into a hug.

 

“Okay.”

 

-

Jeno sat alone in his apartment, originally he was planning on stopping by the cafe for a drink but decided against it, choosing to rather be alone instead. He laid on his couch in a fetal position, a soft piano melody coming from his peakers helped put him at ease. 

 

As much as he wanted to text to text jaemin in that moment, he knew he should probably give the other boy space. The fight they had put a damper on jenos already bad mood. He refused to give in and text him until jaemin did so first, its not that he’s stubborn but he was one hundred percent stubborn.

 

He laid there a pout on his face for god knows how long, feeling sadder for every hour that passed without a text from a jaemin.

 

_ He probably had an emergency _ jeno thought,  _ yeah that’s why he hasn’t called me. _

 

Jeno sat up ruffling his hair in the process, he turned his phone on taking a look at the time. 

 

10 P.M.

 

It read in mocking letters that frustrated him even more. He flopped back onto his couch, tapping on his messages app.

 

_ Zero new messages. _

 

He groaned into his pillow. With his pride now torn to shreds he tapped jaemins contact hitting the call button.

 

The other line answered pretty quick surprising jeno. 

 

“j-jaemin?” jeno asked in a small voice, already regretting calling him. He felt like a bother.

 

“Jeno? What's up?” jaemin asked his voice deeper than usual. He was probably asleep, jeno thought to himself feeling even worse. 

 

“Just miss you is all.” jaemin hummed “i’ll be there in ten.” and with that he hung up. Jeno stared at his phone, he wasn’t expecting jaemin to actually give in to his selfishness. His eyes watered, feeling sensitive, he layed back on his couch letting the tears fall, and wondering what he did in his past life to have such a great boyfriend. He wiped his tears hastily not wanting to look like a mess when jaemin got there, though he knew it was useless since his under eyes tended to get red and puffy when he cried. 

 

He put the volume of his music up higher hoping to distract himself. It proved ineffective when all he could think about was jaemin, his jaemin, his eyes, his smile, his lips. Jeno could physically feel his heart swell just at the thought of being in his arms again.

 

But then he felt fear, fear of losing him? Fear of knowing what he was hiding from him? He had no idea why he felt the anxiety in his heart, he tried his best to push it aside, focus on the happy things. 

 

A thump at his door took him away from his thoughts, he moved quickly to the door almost tripping on a pillow he had dropped on the floor earlier from all of his fumbling.

 

He opened the door coming face to face with jaemin. He opened the door all the way letting jaemin walk in giving him a small smile as he walked in. 

 

He turned his back to jaemin shutting the door when he suddenly felt two arms wrap around his waist pulling him into a strong chest. He stopped moving, his hand sliding down from the door. 

 

“You missed me darling? It’s only been a few hours.” jaemin said into his ear tightening his hold on jenos waist. 

Jeno turned his head to look up at jaemin “i know.. Im sorry for bothering you.” he said pouting again.

 

Jaemin tugged him over to his living room where his soothing music was still blasting from. He sat down first pulling jeno down into his lap, hugging him tightly putting his head into jenos neck, while jeno played with the hairs on the back of jaemins nape. 

 

“You could never bother me baby.” jaemin mumbled into jenos neck, his warm breath making jeno shudder. “Why do i feel like you’re hiding something big from me nana?”

 

Jaemin stiffened under him placing a peck on his neck before pushing his head up, “trust me okay?” jeno hesitated staring into jaemins dark eyes. “How can i trust you if you never tell me anything?” 

 

Jaemin leaned forward breath ghosting over jenos lips “i promise you’ll know soon enough, just please trust me. Put a little bit of trust in me darling, just this once.” 

 

Jeno nodded, not trusting his voice to say anything in this moment. Jaemin smiled finally pushing his lips up against jenos. Both boys felt happy in this moment, with each other, with no one to interrupt them.

 

But yet jeno couldn’t stop the nagging feeling he kept getting, something in the back of his mind telling him not to trust him, but why exactly? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u guys like the ch!! sorry for not updating in so long ill try to keep updates more regular!!, blease leave a kudo or comment they make me happy uwu, (also sorry if i dont respond to ur comment but everytime i try my ao3 keeps glitching and doesnt let me :( i do read them all tho!! they make my heart go boom so thank u!!)


	7. but i got your heart

Taeyong sighed, his hands tightening around the mug of hot chocolate that jaemin had left him before he left to go who knows where. Thinking about what had happened the day before with yoonoh made him feel more anxiety than he’s ever felt in his twenty three years of living.

 

Perhaps this was the world’s cruel way of paying him back for all the wrong thats hes done. Maybe if he hadn’t been so destructive, to himself as well as others none of this would be happening right now.

 

He thought back to what yoonoh had said, his body filling with goosebumps. He would be back, taeyong knew that much, he just didn’t know when, that part filled him with the most dread. Would he appear when he was most unsuspecting? Or it could just be whenever he ended up feeling like it?

 

Taeyong put his mug down, losing interest in his drink. He looked up to his window, the one that had been broken the night before which was already fixed courtesy of having that much power and well, money. Staring at the fixed window made taeyong feel crazy, it’s as if it never even happened, a distant yet vivid memory.

 

A part of him desperately wanted to see yoonoh again, to make him feel like he wasn’t actually going crazy, so he could confirm he didn’t just imagine the whole thing. He still had a part of him however that was absolutely terrified of seeing him again, it was the part that just wanted to run and hide and never look back, but he knew he couldn’t run from his past.

 

Taeyong lied down, deciding to take another day off so he could go back to work in a better condition than the one he was in now. He closed his eyes, having been drained from the day before. He heard the keypad to his apartment, figuring it was just jaemin again he drifted to sleep, letting his dream consume him.

 

_Taeyong stood in the warehouse hands shaking, preparing himself for what was about to happen. He picked up the knife he always carried with him, putting it on a table nearby so it was dispensable at any moment. His patience was wearing thin, he wanted nothing more than for jaemin to get there already so he could start before he regretted it._

 

_A car engine snaps him out of his thoughts, he brings his attention to his guards signaling for them to open the warehouse doors. Jaemin comes running in, doubling over with his hands on his knees breathing heavily, “hes-hes in the trunk.” he said still having breathing problems. He looked up taking one look at taeyong “are you sure you wanna do this tae? It’s not too late to back out.” jaemin said a frown etched on his face._

 

_Taeyong kept his expression passive, his fingers twiddling with one of the many knives placed on the table “ i’m sure, i have to do this.”_

 

_Jaemin sent another frown his way before heading back to the car, the driver taking him away from the scene. His guards had already taken the unconscious body out of the trunk lugging it to where a lone chair stood, they bound his arms together behind the chair, and tying each of his legs to the legs of the chair. His two guards took a step back, facing the other way to give taeyong time and space to do whatever he wanted. Taeyong took a shaky step forward grabbing the knife from the table and making his way to his unconcious lover._

 

_Taeyong always thought yoonoh was extremely foolish, he never brought guards with him when he went to meet him._

 

_Taeyong sucked in a breath admiring how beautiful yoonoh looked, almost like a doll, somehow that made taeyong seem slightly better. He brought his hand up caressing the others face in a tender way, not daring to look away as yoonoh finally opened his eyes.  It took yoonoh a few seconds to adjust, opening his eyes all the way when he seemed to realize the position he was in._

 

_“Taeyong?” he muttered in a question tone, taeyong stood firm, the hand he had on yoonohs cheek not budging an inch. Yoonoh tried moving his arms struggling under the tight ropes. Taeyong leaned forward placing a chaste kiss on the others lips before pulling back all the way, he took a few steps backwards watching yoonohs confusion grow._

 

_“Tae, what is this?”_

 

_Taeyong smiled wondering how someone this clueless was a gang leader, a powerful one at that. “What does it look like honey?” taeyong said venom dripping from his words. He swung the knife in his hand around giving the other a hint. Yoonohs eyes widened, his eyes alternating between looking at the knife and at taeyong._

 

_Taeyong almost stopped, almost called the whole thing off after seeing the look of fear on his lovers face, but he couldn’t he reminded himself, it was for his father._

 

_He never really thought that his father wouldn’t want him to do something like this to the person he loves._

 

_Taeyong let a small laugh escape his lips “sorry for doing this on a day that you were so busy, but i couldn’t wait anymore.” he said circling around the chair, knife swinging around like he was a kid holding a prize._

 

_“Why are you doing this taeyong?” yoonoh asked his teeth gritted, his hands still fumbling from behind him in a pitiful attempt to break free._

 

_Taeyong stopped walking bringing the knife up, using the tip of it to lift yoonohs chin. “I can’t believe you don’t remember honey.” taeyong said with a tsk. Yoonoh looked at him with even more confusion. “Remember what, tae?”_

 

_“Killing my father.”_

 

_Yoonoh visibly paled, his eyes widening an abnormal amount staring at taeyong as if he had just grown six heads. “Your father?” he finally choked out._

 

_“Precisely, but you knew that when we met didn’t you? That i was the son of the man that you had brutally killed. You remember don’t you?” taeyong bent down. “You even sent us a gift after, remember honey.” he said a glint in his eyes._

 

_“Tae…”_

 

_“You know i still remember that day so clearly, i mean it’s not everyday you get a box sent to your house containing… what was it again yoonie? Jog my memory for me please.” taeyong said standing up straighter, smiling when yoonoh held his head down._

 

_Yoonoh murmured, his head still hanging low._

 

_“Hmm? Sorry i didn’t catch that, say it again yoonie.”_

 

_“I sent- i sent his head.”_

 

_“Yes! That’s what it was! Thanks for reminding me honey.” taeyong said petting yoonohs hair._

 

_“You know, i was young when i opened that box. When my father went missing i thought he just ran away or something, imagine my shock when i opened that box to see my dear fathers head.”_

 

_“Look at me.” taeyong said after yoonoh refused to look up. Taeyong felt his fingers go numb, he sucked in a large breath pointing the knife towards yoonohs thigh. “Look at me yoonie.” he said in a whisper, his hands sweating when he realized the other wasn’t going to look up. “I cant.” yoonoh whispered._

 

_Taeyong laughed “cant or wont.”  He brought the knife up slightly before pushing it into the olders thigh. He slowly pushed it in, watching as it teared through yoonohs pants and into his leg, the blood pooling out almost instantly. He took it out quickly not particularly enjoying yoonohs scream of pain._

 

_“Look at me” he insisted again, tears springing up in his eyes but quickly wiping them with the back of his hand when yoonoh finally looked up. Yoonoh gave a painful smile when he made eye contact with taeyong. He looked at the wound on his leg, panting but nonetheless still look breathtaking in taeyongs eyes. “If i had know that he was your father, if i had known i would have met you i swear to god i never would have laid a hand on him. I wouldn’t have been so cruel to your family. Im sorry.”_

 

_Taeyong chuckled lowly “sorry doesn’t bring my dad back yoonie.”_

 

_“You-you’re actually gonna do it huh? If it had to be someone im glad its you.” yoonoh said forcing out a sad laugh, his smile not quite reaching his eyes._

 

_“Why would you be glad i want you dead?”_

 

_“B-because i love you. I’d willingly die for you.”_

 

_Taeyong hummed “mm you shouldn’t put so much trust into people yoonie. Look at where you are now, about to be killed by someone who you would willingly die for. Sad isn’t it?”_

 

_“Not sad if it’s for you.”_

 

_Taeyong grew agitated with every word that came out of yoonohs mouth as he stared at the blood leaking down yoonohs leg, wondering what he should do next. His bodyguard turned around giving taeyong a look meaning he didn’t have much time left. Taeyong sighed turning his attention back to yoonoh._

 

_Taeyong put one hand on his shoulder bending down slightly so they were at the same height. He leaned forward pressing his lips against yoonohs, not waiting as he slid his tongue in his mouth, they moved slowly, yoonoh didn’t have the stamina and taeyong just wanted this moment to last forever. Taeyong brought the hand that was holding the knife to yoonohs stomach moving sluggishly. He positioned it directly at his stomach, knowing this wouldn’t kill him quickly, but make him just bleed out._

 

_Taeyong felt a tear stream down his cheek, he knew he had no time left, so he quickly pushed the knife in as deep as he could before pulling it out, moving away from yoonoh when the other boy started choking. A few tears had cascaded down taeyongs cheek but he couldn’t figure out why, this was what he wanted after all?_

 

_Taeyong sent one last glance at yoonoh not wanting to watch anymore , he pushed his way through his guards and headed as quickly as his legs could take him towards the exit. A soft “taeyong” stopped him in his tracks, he shakingly turned around to see yoonoh with his head down once again just like before. The last thing taeyong heard before running out of that warehouse was “i still love you.” maybe that’s why he was running so fast._

 

_“Dispose of him.” taeyong said to his guards before entering his car, his guards quickly nodded rushing back into the warehouse._

 

_Taeyong touched his lips knowing that would be the last he would ever feel his lovers lips on his._

 

_He couldn’t stop crying for days._

 

Taeyong gasped sitting up, he touched his cheeks that were already wet with tears muttering a curse word as he sat up rubbing at his eyes. Taeyong stopped rubbing his eyes, feeling as if he was being watched. Like something was burning whole into him. Taeyong shuddered “jaemin is that you?” he asked out loud hands still covering his eyes in an attempt to hide his teary eyes.

 

A laugh echoed through his room, one all too familiar.

 

“Try again kitten.”

 

Taeyong froze, his mind going into a frenzy.  He slowly removed his hands from his eyes looking up coming face to face with the very man that had been haunting his dreams, jung yoonoh.

 

Yoonoh stood up from where he was seated on a couch opposite of taeyongs bed. He walked over to him sitting on taeyongs bed so they were facing each other. Taeyong watched terrified as he brought a hand up cupping his cheek, his thumb stroking at the tears that were still flowing.

 

“Why do you look so scared yongie?” he asked, his voice as smooth as velvet just like in all of taeyongs dreams.

 

Taeyong was shaking erratically about two seconds away from a panic attack. “Why-why are you h-here?” taeyong whispered a lump in his throat forming again.

 

“I said i’d come see you again, didn’t i?”

 

“What do you want from m-me?” taeyong said scooting further away from yoonoh, his  back hitting his headrest making yoonoh have to remove his hand from where it was placed on taeyongs cheek.

 

“Do you think i’m gonna hurt you?” yoonoh said quietly, taking in taeyongs shaking form.

 

“I don’t know, please just leave me alone.” taeyong said sobbing into his hands, hoping this once again was just another dream.

 

Taeyong felt strong arms wrap around his frame pulling him closer, he quieted down letting the older sooth him, his sobs gradually stopping until he just felt numb. His face was buried in yoonohs neck, even his smell was familiar to him which made taeyong want to just scream and run. “Im not leaving” yoonoh muttered into taeyongs hair, rubbing circles onto the smallers back.

 

Taeyong gathered all his courage, limply pushing him back. Yoonoh moved his arms down, instead resting his hands on taeyongs waist, something that felt familiar to both of them. “Why are you here, how are you here?” taeyong asked.

 

“I want your forgiveness yongie, for what i did to you. God, I missed you so much.”

 

Taeyong stared at him trying to find a double meaning behind his words.

 

 _Missed me? Even after i tried killing him,_ He thought scrunching his brows.

 

“Forgiveness? I’m the one that tried to kill you.”

 

Yoonoh took the liberty of bringing his hand back up to taeyongs cheek, leaning in to give his nose a small kiss, leaving taeyong even more flustered, no, even more confused.

 

Taeyong brought his hand up to his forehead “my fever must be coming back, i really am going crazy.” he said, more to himself than anyone else.

 

“You’re not going crazy yongie.” yoonoh said with a sigh.

 

“I’m still hearing the voices oh my god jaemin was right i should seriously see a therapist.” taeyong shut his eyes in despair hoping he could wake up from this dream already. ”yeah of course this must be another dream, this would never happen in real life. Yoonie would never forgive me for what i did. He would be crazy to forgive someone like me.”

 

“Taeyong, look at me.” he said pushing chin up up with one finger. “You’re not dreaming, im real, im here.

 

Taeyong heard a groan before he felt something warm touch his lips. Taeyong opened his eyes at the speed of light, meeting yoonohs dark ones. Taeyong attempted to push away, the dark eyes he once loved now intimidated him. He struggled against yoonohs large arms, hands desperately grasping at his shoulders as he tried to push him off.

 

“What was that for?” taeyong asked when yoonoh finally let him go, glare heavy in his tearful eyes.

 

“Prove to you that i am real since you won’t listen to anything i say.” was all he said trying to reconnect their lips but stopping when he saw taeyongs expression. “What?”

 

“Why are you acting so normal, as if i didn’t try to kill you? You can’t just come back, kiss me and expect everything to be normal! This is fucked.”

 

“You know what else is fucked? When the person you are in love with tried to kill you. But hey i killed your dad, lets call it even.” he said with a smirk while standing up and stretching. He walked around the room looking around before turning back to look at taeyong. “Doesn’t look like you’re seeing someone new hm?”

 

“Thats none of your business. Why do you even care?”

 

“Why wouldn’t i care? I’d hate to see you with someone else. Someone other than me.”

 

Taeyong stared at him, the room suddenly feeling ice cold. “What would you have done if i was with someone else?”

 

“mm i dont think you would want to know what i had planned if you actually were seeing someone else." he said with a devilish smile."sorry to cut this short kitten but it’s about time i make my leave.” yoonoh said walking towards the door sending a wink in taeyongs direction.

 

“What? You can’t just leave like that after kissing me and not telling me anything!”

 

"why? are you gonna miss me?"

 

taeyong hesitated "you wish.."

 

“i do wish, see you soon yongie.” he said sliding out of taeyongs room.

 

Taeyong sat once a again alone, his heart beating so fast that it felt like he would have a heart attack anytime soon, the word _soon_ hanging around him like a shadow. He goes as far to consider even moving somewhere else just to avoid the older, a different apartment far away.

 

He couldn’t bear to be around him anymore, not after all he’s done to him.

 

Yoonoh didn’t even seem like the same person that taeyong had once known. No, it definitely wasn’t, he had never seen yoonoh look at him like that. He had once been so used to him sending him looks filled only with love, with nothing but pure adoration.

 

Not looks that lacked any type of emotion.

 

-

  


Jeno knew what he was doing wasn’t right. He knew what he was feeling wasn’t right either.

 

This was a whole new low for him though.

 

He was currently standing on a street corner a few feet away from a building he had seen jaemin walk into.

Yes, he was indeed currently following his boyfriend.

 

In his mind this was completely justifiable however, knowing that if he took no action he would be completely left in the dark. He didn’t know who he could trust at this point, but he knew damn well it wasn’t his seemingly innocent boyfriend who literally never told him anything. It was hard to be patient when you had no idea what was going on.

 

So back to his current situation, he was hunched near a lamp post watching as jaemin entered a very elaborately designed building.

 

 _Kinda looks like doyoungs building_ he thought before turning back to look at his guards. He motioned for them to come to him with a flick of his fingers and then turning back to look at the building.

 

His guards usually alternate between shifts. He sometimes forgets this, so he was slightly surprised when his usual guards didn’t appear. He recognized them quickly and sent them a nod when they bowed.

 

“Hey jungwoo, taeil.”

 

“What can we help you with sir?” jungwoo asked a soft smile adorning his features.

 

 _I get why doyoung has a huge crush on him_ jeno thought looking at jungwoo.

 

“What territory are we in? Also do either of you know what that building is?” he said making a pointing motion with his head.

 

“Ah well we aren’t well in our territory if you get what i mean. That building on the other hand…” taeil stopped talking making brief eye contact with jungwoo in what jeno could tell was out of panic. “It belongs to lee taeyong sir.”

 

Jenos blood ran cold. “What? Are you sure you are not making a mistake? Because jaemin just walked in there.”

 

Jungwoo leaned to the side taking another look at the building. “No, doyoung makes us all learn where every one of lee taeyongs buildings are as well as what each one looks like to avoid them. Trust us when we say it is one of his. We also recommend leaving this area sir, for your protection.”

 

Jeno looked back at the building his chest feeling heavy. “Okay, yeah.”

 

“Actually, let’s go pay my brother a visit.”

-

 

The walk to doyoungs office felt like a ten mile run, when it in fact actually only took him ten minutes to get there by car. The whole time it was as if he couldn’t come up with a single coherent thought. The only thing he could process was the fact that he had seen jaemin walk into a building. But of course not just any building, no it just had to be lee taeyongs.

 

_Lee taeyong, the person who had murdered his older brother out of cold blood. The person jeno hated most in the world._

 

It was safe to say jeno was having a mental breakdown, and about two seconds away from quite literally hurling himself out of the moving car. When they finally arrived at the building jeno practically flew out of the car, throwing open the car door so harshly he swore he heard taeil yelp. He made a running start, almost running into five people before he got the elevator. His guards barely making it in behind him.

 

He tapped his floor impatiently against the floor of the elevator, the normally calming music was only aggravating him. He once again took into a sprint once the doors slowly opened, jaemin swirling through his mind.

 

He finally arrived at doyoungs office, throwing the door open harshly which made doyoung fall out of his chair a grunt of pain coming from the floor. Jungwoo quickly ran over to help doyoung settle back in his chair looking at doyoung in worry.

 

“Wha- jungwoo? Why are you here?” doyoung asks in surprise rubbing at his head.

 

Jungwoo smiled “just accompanying jeno.” he said simply before bowing and walking back out of the door, leaving a dumbfounded doyoung in his wake.

 

Jeno coughed dramatically bringing doyoungs attention to him. “Oh, jeno what's up? God, you nearly gave me heart attack there.”

 

“Mind explaining to me why i saw jaemin walking into one of lee taeyongs buildings earlier?” he said crossing his arms across his chest, his heart thumping erratically in his chest.  Doyoung laughed nervously “what? Maybe you saw wrong?”

 

“Nope, jungwoo and taeil confirmed it for me.”

 

Doyoung cursed under his breath, _damn jungwoo and his inability to lie_.

 

“I know you know something Do, what is he hiding from me?” jeno continued pressing further.

 

“Jeno-i-ugh. This is a mess.” he muttered under his breath. “Do us all a favor and please talk to jaemin. It’s not my information to tell jeno.”

 

Jeno could feel his eyes watering “if i ask he wont tell me Do, he doesn’t tell me anything. I don’t know if i can do this anymore.”

 

“Do what anymore jeno?”

 

“This! All of this! Jaemin doesn’t tell me shit, and now even you’re keeping things from me…. Aren’t we brothers?”

 

“We are jeno, but this is beyond me,when jaemin decides to tell to tell you everything then that’s when you’ll know. I can’t tell you though, so like i said before jeno, talk to him, tell him what you know. If he’s ready he’ll tell you, okay?”

 

Jenos eyes started stinging from his tears “i know- i know i should respect that but he’s making it so hard to!”

 

Doyoung walked around his desk pulling jeno into a bone crushing hug whispering a small “trust him, trust me, trust us.”

 

“How can i trust any of you when no one wants to tell me the truth?”

 

Doyoung sighed pulling away, he tugged jenos phone out of his hand easily typing in jenos very obvious passcode. “you know what, go talk to him right now, wait for him at your apartment, i already let him know that you’ll be waiting for him, so go already. You two seriously need to clear all this shit up.” which was the last thing jeno heard before being pushed out of doyoungs office door slamming shut behind him.

 

He wiped the tears off of his face as he started walking. He walked slowly as he tried to calm his ragged breathing before he got to his apartment which was a short walk.

 

By the time he was inside, he was feeling increasingly dizzy, he took a seat at a couch covering his eyes with the palms of his hands, trying to gain some control. Jeno didn’t notice how much had passed but next thing he knew the doorbell was ringing and his head didn’t feel any better.

 

He stood up grasping at the wall so he could stand straight. As soon as he opened the door his legs finally gave out from under him, he remembers seeing jaemins face before everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to redo this ch like five times cause i kept getting unsatisfied with it while writting it sigh sjsk, i wanna know what u guys think about jaeyong!! do u think they should end up together in the end or nah? tbh i still havent decided kjsk. ALSo i still cant respond to comments so im not sure if its all chapters that i cant or??? ( i did!! read all of the ones from the last ch, thank u all sm!!) but please do leave comments/kudos they give me motivation uwu, thank u for reading :)))))!!!!!


	8. our pieces fall, right into place

Jenos eyes fluttered open, squinting at the brightness of the room, immediately attempting to push himself up with his elbows but falling back flat at a pair of hands that pushed him back down.

 

“What do you think you’re doing mister?” jaemin said looking down at jeno through his long eyelashes, he scoffed as he brought his hand up to move jenos bangs away from his eyes. “Do you have any idea how much it scared me when you passed out as soon as you opened the door? Almost gave me a goddamn heart attack.” jaemin chuckled but stopped quickly when he saw jenos dim expression. “What's wrong darling, do you still not feel okay? Should i call for a doctor?”

 

“No, no im fine dont worry about it.” jeno pushed upwards against the many protests that slipped from jaemins mouth. “How do you expect me not to worry about it when you passed out! Have you not been eating enough? Oh my god are you malnourished right now? Hold on i’m gonna order food, what do you feel like eating-”

 

“Jaemin! I have been eating, its really not that. I don’t know, i was just feeling especially dizzy today. Maybe it’s from stress.” he said getting up from his bed where he had previously been neatly tucked in. He trudged towards his kitchen pouring himself a glass of water and making his way to his sofa, all the while jaemin quietly followed him like an obedient puppy.

 

Jaemin watched as jeno gulped down his glass of water, pensive as he didnt breaking the stare he had on the others face. Jeno laughed nervously “why are you staring at me like that, is there something on my face?”

 

Jaemin turned his head in confusion “earlier you said you might have passed out from stress, what have you been stressed about darling?”

 

Jeno almost laughed at that question, death grip tightening around his glass “what's there not to worry about.” he said sounding more like a statement than a question.

 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

 

“I don’t know jaemin, why don’t you tell me?”

 

Jaemin stared back dumbfounded, brows furrowing as he took in jenos words. “Jeno.. is there something you want to talk about?”

 

“there is actually.” jaemin motioned for him to continue when he noticed he had stopped talking. Jeno took a shaky breath, anxiety building up in him when he thought of all the possible outcomes of this conversation. But it’s not like he could just avoid it, as much as he wishes he could, there’s no way he could sweep this under the rug. 

 

“The other day..” jeno paused remembering that the only reason he had seen jaemin going into that building was because he had been following him, he blanked trying to come up with a reasonable lie only coming back when jaemin snapped his fingers. 

 

“The other day, what?” jaemin asked impatiently leaning forward into jeno’s space. 

 

“The other day.. I was taking a walk, yeah i was walking. But anyways, while i was on my walk i had wandered a little far. And- actually, before i continue can i ask a simple question?”

 

Jaemin hesitated which didn’t go unnoticed by jeno. “I-um sure, go ahead.”

 

“Do you know lee taeyong?”

 

Jaemin froze, a red flag warning going off in his mind. He could either lie completely, and ignore the existence of his brother, or tell jeno the truth.

 

In his mind the second option was way worse, so he didn’t hesitate to reply with a sharp “no.”.

 

What he wasn’t prepared for, no, what he definitely was not expecting was for jeno to choke out an almost cynical laugh. The way jenos body shook with laughter, even going as far as to hold on to the coffee table in front of them as to not fall. Jenos laugh scared jaemin for so many reasons, but what scared him the most was when jenos cackles turned into full on sobs. Jeno fell onto his knees, covering his face with his palms as he hyperventilated, his whole body was violently trembling. 

 

Jaemin dropped onto the floor in the space in front of jeno, attempting to pull jeno in for jeno, but stopping when jeno choked out a small “dont touch me.”

 

“Jeno, baby, what's wrong?” he said, eyes welling with tears just from seeing his lover in his current state. Jeno didn’t answer or say anything as a matter of fact, he stopped crying although he was still shaking and when he lifted his face from his palms his eyes were red and puffy, which made jaemin just want to cuddle him with love and kisses right then and there. 

 

“Jaemin-jaemin, you know i love you right- but i can’t do this anymore. You don’t tell me anything jaemin. You lied straight to my face when i asked if you knew lee taeyong, i saw you go in-into his building. When do the lies end jaemin? If you love me please tell me the truth, for once please jaemin.” 

 

Jaemin stared into jenos bloodshot eyes, knowing this was it. Today was the day he would lose jeno forever. Jaemin felt the hot tears stream down his face, but he refused to break eye contact with jeno. 

 

“I do, i do love you more than anything.” jaemin whispered. 

 

“Then tell me jaemin. Tell me what you have been hiding from me this whole time.”

 

Jaemin stood up with a disgruntled groan pacing around the living in a frustrated fashion “it’s not that simple jeno.”

 

“What's not simple? Im sorry lying isn’t easy!” 

 

“Jeno thats-, i never lied because i wanted to, i don’t want you to hate me.”

 

Jeno looked up at jaemin with wide eyes “hate you? Why would i ever hate you jaemin?”

 

Jaemin stayed silent, running his hand through his pink locks, and completely avoiding any sort of eye contact with jeno. 

 

“No, don’t you dare go quiet now jaemin. Tell me. Do i not have the right to know?”

 

“You already know it has something to do with taeyong, don’t you?” Jaemin asked to which jeno nodded his head in confirmation. “I’ll tell you everything, but-” jaemin stopped talking suddenly, moving up to jeno to cup his hands in his. “But no matter what, i love you.”

 

“I love you too nana.”

 

Jaemin smiled sadly “you might not after this.”

 

“I don’t understand? Just how serious is all of this?”

 

“I-i’ll start from the beginning.” jeno nodded so jaemin continued. “ i’m not who i say i am jeno.”

 

“Can’t be any worse than being in a gang, right?” jeno asked sarcastically, rolling his (still very puffy) eyes. Jaemin let out a fake laugh, still avoiding jenos gaze “haha, yeah, um about that…”

 

“I’m an assassin.”

 

Jaemin looked up, trying to find any type of reaction from his boyfriend after hearing nothing. Jeno looked impassive, bored almost. “I’m not one to judge someone’s profession jaemin. Why would i hate you for your job?”

 

Jaemin was so incredibly close to laughing at that despite the situation. _Of course, things were never that simple._ _And of course, by laugh he means to cry_. “Obviously i have more to tell you.”

 

“Continue then.”

 

“Warning you now, it gets worse and worse.” jaemin said anxiously, twiddling with jenos hand that was still in his. “Don’t interrupt, okay?” jeno nodded so jaemin continued.

 

“I’m an assassin, yes, i probably should have told you sooner. But then i would have revealed my true intentions. What i was supposed to do from the beginning, my mission actually. Jeno.. when we met i knew everything about you. Well every piece of information that my brother could gather. My brother assigned me to do it. To-to kill you jeno.”  jaemin took a deep breath. “M-my brother wants, well  _ wanted _ you dead. At the time i didn’t know you, i thought it would be like any other of my cases where i had to take someone out as quickly as i could without getting caught, or otherwise involved with the target. But he wanted me to get close to you, to get information from you, to use you for our own gain.”

 

Jaemin gripped jenos hands tighter in his when jeno tried to let go. Jeno tried moving from his grasp, his hands trembling in jaemins but jaemin refused to let go, holding on tighter. “As i told you, it gets much worse.”

 

“Aren’t you interested to know who my brother is? Who the person who wants you dead is?” jaemin said bitterly watching as jeno seemed to have problems breathing, tears cascading down his pink tinted cheeks. “Isn’t it ironic in a way, how i just so happened to be the brother of the person you hate most in this world? Fate really did fuck me over. I couldn’t have been born in a normal family, or have met you in a normal way, huh?”

 

“Jaemin please say you’re joking, please.” jeno hiccuped out, “tell me this is some sick fucking joke, please, please jaemin,  _ please _ .” he pleaded, and jaemin almost felt like taking everything back. To tell jeno it was a joke sounds so simple, just so he can give him one last kiss. One last hug, one last i love you, before jeno says the inevitable and never wants to hear anything from him ever again. 

 

“I wish it was a joke jeno, i really wish it was.”

 

“Y-you’re brother is lee taeyong?”

 

“Yes. i’m so sorry jeno.”

 

Jeno stood up, jaemin assumed it was to get away from him, but his negative thoughts got cut short when jeno stumbled forward, hitting his leg on the coffee table. Jaemin reached forward as quickly as he could, yanking jeno harshly before he could hit the floor. Jaemin took the opportunity to wrap his arms around jenos waist, and pull him into him. 

 

“Please don’t leave me, please.” jaemins word came out muffled by jenos stomach where his face was situated in. jaemin tightened his hold on jeno, afraid of him leaving. 

 

“Was any of it ever real, jaemin? Were any of the feelings ever there for you? Well what are you waiting for? Kill me, kill me already. Isn’t that why you’re still here?” jeno sobbed out, trying to pull himself out of jaemins death hold. “no, no jeno, none of it was ever fake, i love you so much, i love you so fucking much baby, i could never hurt you.”

 

Jeno spitefully laughed “is that not what you’re doing right now jaemin, hurting me that is?” 

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

 

“No, of course you didn’t, you meant to kill me. Im not even supposed to be alive right now.” 

 

“I couldn’t , after meeting you, you were, no, you are, the best thing that i’ve ever had jeno. You’re irreplaceable to me. I would never harm you, even if its my brother who wants me to.”

 

“Irreplaceable? Or until you get assigned a new target and fall in love with them?” jeno said yanking jaemins arms off of him and taking a step back. “You knew jaemin. You fucking knew all about my brother, how much i resented lee taeyong for what he did. You knew all this shit yet you still lied to me. How will i ever be able to trust you again after this? What's next, you’re gonna tell me you helped kill my brother?”

 

Jaemin stared silent, a tear rolling down his cheek. He didn’t dare say anything or even move, like a deer caught in headlights. Jeno eyes widened “no-wha-jaemin say something.”

 

Jaemin looked down, his head ached severely but he figured he most likely couldn’t ask for any painkillers at this moment.

 

“Tell me you had nothing to do with it, you’re playing with me, right? There’s no way you could have- there’s no way.” he insisted grabbing at jaemins shoulders and pushing him back and forth, jaemin thought he must look like a bobble head with the way his head was spinning. Yet he did nothing to stop jenos actions, knowing he would only make it worse by speaking any more than he had to.

 

Jaemin finally mustered up his voice whispering out a small “im sorry”, his eyes emotionless as jeno stared at him. Jeno took a step back. And then another, and another, he kept going until his back hit the wall, sliding down the wall with a gut-wrenching sob. 

 

“l-leave, leave and never come back.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

_ “I hate you so much.” _

 

Jaemin has never cried so much in his life.

-

 

Jaemin always knew it would end up like this. He always knew there was no way that jeno would ever be able to forgive him, who could? He was a monster, at least that is what he thought of himself. But hearing jeno utter those words hit him in places he never knew he could feel. He felt his heart break into a million pieces, beyond repair.

 

Jaemin stood outside of jenos apartment for god knows how long, listening to jenos cries through the door. He felt too drained to even cry, instead, he walked numbly to where he knew he could find his brother, wanting some sort of company at the moment. 

 

Although most people would prefer being alone in their times of grief, jaemin rather than that needed the attention of someone else to feel better. Having some type of consolation was better than having none, and he didn’t want to bother any of his friends or even doyoung with his problems. 

 

Jaemin walked and walked and walked, until his legs felt as numb as he did before he finally decided on seeing taeyong. Though he felt as if nothing could comfort him in these moments. He walked sluggishly, his reflexes were just as bad, not even blinking when a car honked at him for standing in the middle of the street. When he arrived at taeyongs apartment building, he stepped into the elevator, not even noticing someone else entered behind him. Only until he looked up did he recognize those familiar eyes. 

 

But by then it was already too late, a cloth was tightly wrapped around his lower face, and his instinctively inhaled, the toxic fume going straight through his nose and mouth.

 

His attempt to break free proved feeble when all his limbs wouldn’t cooperate, his eyes closing on their own. Those same eyes staring back at him with a terrifying hatred in them. 

 

His last thought before falling unconscious was he seriously hoped jeno really didn't mean it when he said he hated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *laughs in hidden*
> 
> i live off of angst hehe,,,, should next chapter be more jaeyong centered or nomin?? 
> 
> -alsoo who do u guys think the guy at the end is huhuhu


	9. get caught up in the moments

It’s been two days.

 

Two days since jeno had that dreadful conversation with jaemin.

 

It’s also coincidentally been two days since jaemin has even tried contacting him. Not that he was complaining because he obviously appreciates the space and time to think. But not even a text asking how he’s been? That’s just cold in jenos opinion.

 

Thinking back on that day makes jeno feel so guilty, he couldn’t entirely blame himself though. He had been told that his boyfriend was the brother of the person that killed his sibling. That part of course still makes his blood boil merely from thinking about it. Not adding the other fact that jaemin helped him out.

 

Knowing all of this, it still didn’t stop the ache in his heart when he thought about jaemins face when he said those terrible things to him.

 

_ I hate you _ .

 

It was the biggest lie jeno has ever said, but his emotions had gotten the better of him. He still loved jaemin with all of his heart, maybe even more, but he had no idea where he stood in jaemins life.

 

He was a mission all along, when he thought about all the kisses they shared, all the hugs, all those special moments, were they all just part of jaemins little role so he could kill him? Jeno hoped they meant something to him, even if it was just a small percentage in his heart.

 

Jeno did everything he could to drown out his thoughts, including cleaning his entire apartment, something that he rarely did. He cleaned every room there was, (except for his living room since he found it hard to go in there ever since that day.) dusted every corner of every room, doing his laundry even though he had no dirty clothes. It wasn’t until he was finished cleaning, his apartment looking like something you would see in a catalog, that he realized he didn’t have anything else to do.  

 

Which in turn meant he had nothing to keep his mind from jaemin.

 

_ Jaemins smile. Jaemins lips. Those same lips that had lied to him for so long- _

 

Jeno snapped himself out of his daydream, looking around his kitchen for something- anything to do. That’s when he noticed the letter sitting on his kitchen table. One he could have sworn wasn’t there when he cleaned earlier, he wiped the whole table down so he definitely would have noticed it in plain sight.

 

What stood out the most to him about the letter was his name written on the letter in very familiar handwriting.

 

Way too familiar for his liking.

 

He picked the letter up turning it around to see the back but found nothing else written on it. He opened the envelope, to find a single note in it.

 

_ 12 AM _

 

_ Tonight. _

 

_ The park you like so much. _

 

_ Come alone. _

 

Jeno stared at the note for a few seconds, getting chills on the back of his neck. Without a doubt recognizing the handwriting, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He turned his phone on to look at the time, subtly reminding himself he should probably buy a watch next time he goes shopping. 11:30 PM is what his phone reads, cursing at himself for not even realizing how late it had gotten. Jeno looks back at the letter in his hands, weighing the pros and cons of going.

 

_ It probably wouldn’t be a murderer, right? _  Jeno shook his head. A murderer is most likely smarter than to send a letter like this. That’s what jeno hoped as he put on his jacket and stepping outside. He noticed his guards standing all the way at the end of the hallway, and quickly ran in the other direction hoping they wouldn’t notice him sneaking out (not that they have before.).

 

The side entrance was a lot colder than the main one, was jenos first thought as he stepped down the stairs, skipping down the stairs two at a time. His legs felt a bit shaky which he blames on his lack of appetite lately but he keeps moving nonetheless.

 

The walk to the park was quiet, he occasionally nodded along to whatever song he had stuck in his head at the moment, but other than that he tried keeping his head empty. He even counted the number of cars that he had passed due to his boredom (he counted twentysix), before he finally arrived at where he assumed the letter meant by his favorite park.

 

Jeno sighed walking through the gates, remembering all the dates he had with jaemin at this very park. He stopped walking to look around, wondering who he was even supposed to be meeting here. That was when he noticed two males standing near each other , the shorter one shouting something at the taller who just stood there calmly. He suspiciously walked close wanting to hear what was happening, while moving he noticed both males were wearing black masks that covered the lower half of their faces just like he was wearing. Something about the two males appeared familiar so he walked closer carefully eyeing them.  

-

 

Taeyong looked around his office, pulling at his tie to loosen it up and throwing it on the floor, he fell back into his chair with a groan. He thought he would try to focus more on his work rather than on everything happening in his personal life, but that just stressed him out even more. Everything around him reminded him about yoonoh, the last encounters were engraved in his mind. From the way yoonoh looked at him, to the way he had kissed him, taeyong couldn’t stop thinking about him for even a second.

 

Taeyong tried working from home but he would have a mini heart attack anytime he heard a noise which he thought was yoonoh. So he packed his work up and had his driver take him to his office despite it being 11 PM. But as he sat surrounded by piles and piles of never ending paperwork, he seriously regretted his decision of coming back.

 

Taeyong ran a hand through his hair, thinking he should probably re-dye his hair soon, the light brown locks just weren’t as appealing to him anymore. He stood up stretching out his back, and walked over to the makeshift closet he had hidden in the back of his office, he walked in hoping to find something more comfortable than the dress shirt and pants he currently had on. He rummaged around humming contently when he found a pair of black sweatpants and oversized matching black sweatshirt.

 

He was unbuttoning his dress shirt, having already changed his pants, when he heard something clang from behind him. Him figuring it was one of his guards kept undressing, taking off his shirt completely and folding it to avoid any wrinkles. Even when he heard the footsteps behind him he stayed calm, since it wasn’t an unusual thing for people to just wander into his office.

 

Unfortunately, he saw the hands a second too late, cold hands grabbing him by his (still) naked waist and flipping him around. He yelped, arms coming up to cover his bare chest with the sweatshirt he was still holding, looking up to see that same gaze from before but this time there was something warm about it.

 

“Yoonoh.” He breathed out, suddenly feeling embarrassed by his current state. The other was unfazed however giving him a small smile as he stared holes into him. “You’re still as beautiful as ever yongie.” taeyong blushed, pushing himself out of yoonohs arms, and quickly put on the sweatshirt.

 

“Why are you here yoonoh?” taeyong asked, he walked out and took a seat a seat at his desk, hoping he sounded somewhat nonchalant when he was actually freaking out on the inside. Being a gang boss thankfully taught him how to keep his emotions under control in situations like this.

 

“Came to pick you up.” yoonoh said casually toying around with objects on taeyongs desk. “Pick me up? For what?” taeyong asked fiddling with the hem on his sweatshirt.

 

Yoonoh smiled nervously, “haha about that, i want you to meet someone important, well someone important to me at least.”

 

“Wait- are you- are you taking me to meet your new significant other?” taeyong asked bewildered. “I know i tried to kill you and all but what the fuck?”

 

“What? Oh god no tae.” yoonoh said through wheezes “why would i do that when im still in love with you?” taeyong blushed and looked down thinking he probably looks like a tomato right now. “Then who is it?” he asked looking up at yoonoh through his eyelashes.

 

“You’ll find out when we get there. Come on, we can’t be late.” yoonoh said dragging taeyong through the door and pulling up his mask that was previously hooked around his chin.

 

“Are you bringing me out here to murder me?” taeyong asked after dismissing his guards so they wouldn’t follow them, which in hindsight was a terrible idea. “The person we’re meeting is probably gonna be a professional killer or something. god i knew it was a good idea to write an early will-” taeyong got cut off by a tug on his hand (which yoonoh was still holding by the way.).

 

“Why would i bring you to a public park to kill you?” he said leading taeyong through the gates of a surprisingly nearby park. “He should be here soon.” yoonoh mumbled which taeyong barely caught.

 

“Ah yes my killer i presume? Can’t wait for that.” he said leaning up against a tree and closing his eyes. “I’m not killing you taeyong, i love you, i would never hurt you.”

 

“That’s what i said before too but look where we are now.”

 

Yoonoh sighed running a hand through his hair when out of the corner of both of their eyes they see a body hit the ground, the person lying for a few seconds before sitting up. The person turned their head looking up at both of them, his eyes widening.

 

“Yoonoh?”

 

-

 

Jeno maneuvered himself so he could try to get a closer look of their faces, but the wobbliness of his legs and the wet ground from the rain earlier that day apparently didn’t mix well.

 

His vision went black for a second as he hit the floor but he sat up quickly despite that hoping no one saw (he’s shy okay.). When he made eye contact with the taller man from behind. As soon as he saw those eyes something clicked in is mind. His mouth speaking before he could even stop himself.

 

“Yoonoh?”

 

Both men were staring at him, one with what jeno could tell was a confused expression and the other looked relieved in a way.

 

“Jeno.” yoonoh practically squealed throwing himself on top of jeno who landed back on the floor with an  _ oof. _

Jeno layed there squashed between the floor and the other body, his whole body frozen in shock. Or was it happiness?

 

_ Its yoonoh- oh my god wasn’t he dead, wait no yeah, he’s definitely dead, i must be hallucinating. How long has it been since i ate jesus- _ . Jenos thoughts were cut off by the body lifting it self from the bone crushing hug they were previously in.

 

“Oh my god.” jeno whispered staring as yoonoh took his mask off revealing it was in fact his thought to be dead older brother.

 

“Wow! Have you grown since the last time i saw you? You look so much older! Oh my god who gave you permission to dye your hair? I’m gonna kick doyoungs ass next time i see him.”

 

Jeno stared with wide eyes as he listened to yoonoh rant before he even realized it the tears sprang out. “You-you’re real? This isn’t a joke?” jeno said hands coming up to touch yoonohs’ face, crying even harder when he realized this wasn’t a hologram or a hallucination.

Yoonoh laughed clutching jenos hands that were still on his face, his eyes were watery as well but no tears came out yet. “Yes, im real jeno.”

 

Jeno sobbed out pulling yoonoh in for a hug, crying loudly into his brothers shoulder. Yoonoh stroked his brothers hair letting him cry all he wanted, while also letting a few stray tears come out.

 

Meanwhile, taeyong stood by the tree watching the brothers cry into each other's arms, while also having a small mental breakdown.

 

_ Shit shit shit- both brothers i tried to kill are here, they’re gonna beat my ass holy SHIT i did not think this through. _

 

Taeyong looked around trying to find an escape route, when the brothers pulled away from their hug. Taeyong mentally cursed at himself for not bringing his guards with him.

 

Jeno looked up at his brother “how-weren’t you dead?” he said his voice cracking with every word.

 

“I’ll explain everything to you soon. Oh! I almost forgot! Tae, come here.” yoonoh said standing up and brushing the leaves off of himself.

 

Taeyong cursed yoonohs impeccable memory.

 

He laughed nervously eyeing the exit to the park, ready to dash at any moment. “Haha i would uh hate to ruin this moment- we can leave this for another day!” taeyong said already turning around.

 

“Nope, come here.” yoonoh said simply, grabbing taeyong by his wrist and dragging over to where jeno stood, staring at him curiously through puffy eyes.

 

_ Im so fucked. _

 

“Jeno this is taeyong, the guy who tried to kill me.”

 

_ Dammit yoonoh _ .

 

Jenos eyes widened.

 

_ Maybe he won’t know about the whole jaemin thing? Yeah, right, there is no way he could possibly know he also tried to kill him too. _

 

“Jaemin’s brother, the one who assigned him to kill me?”

 

_ Dammit jaemin. _

 

Taeyong looked up at the sky, praying for any magical being to come rescue him. But of course nothing happens.

 

“You know jaemin? Woah, what do you mean assigned to kill you?” yoonoh asked glancing at taeyong who was currently five seconds away to crying. “Taeyong?”

 

_ Fuck my life _  taeyong muttered under his breath. “well you see- um about that.”

 

“He assigned jaemin to try to kill me but jaemin couldn’t cause apparently fell in love with me.”

 

Taeyong shifted uncomfortably under the judgeful look yoonoh kept throwing at him. “Yeah, what he said- wait he fell in love with you?.”

 

“That what he said…”

 

“It all makes sense.” taeyong said thinking about all his recent conversations with jaemin. Actually thinking harder he hasn’t seen jaemin in like two days, what-

 

“Oh my god taeyong! You tried to kill my brother too!?” yoonoh exclaimed looking like a disappointed parent.

 

“Well-okay at least he’s not dead!”

 

“That’s not the point!”

 

“You killed my dad so lets call it even, yeah?” taeyong said sarcastically. “Listen i don’t know why you brought me here but it obviously wasn’t a good idea. Im leaving.” taeyong said already turning around but was once again yanked back by the same hand on his wrist.

 

“The reason i brought you here is so that you two could meet. I wanted the two most important people to me to meet.”

 

Jeno stared at him unimpressed “he literally tried to kill both of us.”

 

“People change!”   
  


“Not really but go off i guess.”

 

Yoonoh groaned impatiently “god you’re both so annoying together!”

 

Taeyong and jeno threw him an offended look before looking back at each other. “When was the last time you saw jaemin? I haven’t heard from him in a few days.” taeyong asked.

 

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows “i haven’t.. We got into a fight and i haven’t heard from him since.” taeyong paled a bit, his eyes widening before he was frantically taking his phone out and hitting his speed dial.

 

“Goes to voicemail….” both boys watched taeyong worridley as he pressed some more buttons while biting the nails off of one of his hands fingers.

 

“Hey renjun… yea sorry, um have you seen jaemin? No? Okay, yeah get some sleep. Bye.” taeyong stared at his phone after the call ended before turning around and walking in a fast pace.

”taeyong what's happening?” yoonoh said following behind him as well as jeno.

 

“No one knows where jaemin is.” taeyong said, once again typing fast into his phone, but abruptly turning around eye locking dead on jeno. “Do you know where jaemin’s apartment is?” jeno nodded in response.

 

“Okay you’re coming with me.”

 

“I’ll come too” yoonoh said grabbing onto taeyongs hands, which he held onto gratefully.

 

_ This is all my fault _  jeno thought as they got into taeyongs car.

 

-

 

Jaemin gave up struggling against the ropes that bound him. His skin tearing and burning from how tight they were. The only hydration he had in his mouth was the blood that came from his busted lip. He groaned as another hit landed on his ribs, watching as the man wiped the blood off his fist,  _ jaemins blood off of his fist. _

 

Jaemin couldn’t understand why anyone would do this. Him of all people.

 

He spits blood onto the floor just as another blow hit him straight in the stomach, he doubled over pain, wanting so bad to cry but the tears wouldn’t,  _ no couldn’t  _ come out.

 

Jaemin watched as he walked to a different corner of the room where there was a small table, the only object in the room other than the chair he was currently seated on. He grabbed a camera placed on the table and walked back over to jaemin.

 

He roughly grabbed at jaemins hair, pulling his head back to a painful position.

 

“Smile for taeyong and jeno.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel so bad for jaemin sjsk,  
> -now u guys know mystery man isnt jaehyun hehe,,,,- thanks for reading!!!! uuwuwwuw


	10. you did a number on me

Jeno hugged his knees closer to his chest, he forced himself to look up at the scene unfolding in front of him. The clip that was currently playing on taeyongs computer in front of all three men was a seemingly never-ending video of jaemin.

 

Jaemin, who in the video was all bruised and bloody, his head hung low as he gasped for air. Jeno stopped breathing the moment the mysterious figure landed another punch to jaemins stomach. the force making him choke out some blood which landed over his lap. Jeno was terrified as he watched, wanting nothing more than to hold jaemin, to see him smile rather than the horrifying sight in front of him.

 

Taeyong was in no better condition than him, and for a hot minute, jeno almost forgot this was the same man who planned on killing him and his brother. The way taeyong was crying, his whole body racked with sobs as he covered his eyes not wanting to watch, and jeno couldn’t even blame him. Yoonoh stood off to his side, rubbing comforting circles across the olders back. Jeno wondered how his brother could still love someone who tried to murder him in cold blood, but then he remembered jaemin. Jaemin who met him with the intentions of also killing him, but somehow that still didn’t stop the love he had for the other. In a way that helped jeno understand his brother a bit more, but then again, jaemin had never gone as far as to actually stab him.

 

The screen on taeyongs computer suddenly went black, only the sounds of jaemin’s heavy wheezing in the background could be heard which only seemed to break jenos heart even more. It appeared that whoever had the camera was moving it around which explained the loud shuffling sounds.

 

It wasn’t until the black screen finally cleared, now much closer to jaemin, did they finally hear the man say something.

 

“Smile for taeyong and jeno.”

 

Jeno and yoonoh both paled instantly, watching with wide eyes as the video finally came to an end with an abrupt crash.

 

“No.. it can’t be.” jeno whispered looking straight at yoonoh, every second that passed felt like a lifetime. Yoonoh looked down at taeyong who was looking at them both with furrowed eyebrows, his eyes red from all his crying. “What is it?”

 

Yoonoh took a deep breath “we know whose voice that is.” taeyong sprang up from his chair slamming both hands onto his desk, making jeno jump. “Tell me now. We need to find jaemin immediately.” taeyong said trying to muster any strength he had left but his voice still came out as a weak tremble. Jeno stood up onto his feet, walking in a quick stride to the door, his legs shaking as he did so.

 

“Jeno?” he turned around quickly at hearing yoonohs voice almost ignoring it completely. “We need to go now. He might still be torturing jaemin. I think i know where they are.” jeno quickly said rushing to leave the room.

 

Taeyong stared with wide eyes, relief flooding through his system but he knew he couldn’t feel that yet, not until he makes sure jaemin is okay. He grabs yoonohs hand and follows after jeno, gripping yoonohs hand as tightly as he could, glad that yoonoh hadn’t pulled away even though he knew he deserved it.

 

Jenos eyes watered as he walked over to the car they came in before, his fingernails scratching harshly at the palms of his hands, drawing blood in the process.

 

He was deep in thought the whole ride to their destination. Wondering about so many what-ifs.

 

What if he had just talked it out with jaemin instead of telling him to go? What if he had never said those awful things to him? He regretted not checking on jaemin this whole time, wondering if maybe he could have stopped this whole thing. He prayed with his whole being that jaemin would be okay, that he would return safely to his arms. He wanted nothing more than to hold jaemin, although it hadn’t been long he missed him so much, he felt a hole in his chest just thinking about him.

 

When they finally pulled up outside of the familiar building, jeno dashed out of the car not even bothering to look back and see if the others were following him.

 

He had to make sure jaemin was okay. That was his number one priority at the moment and the only thought he could process as he ran through the halls. He finally reached the room where he knew they were. They had to be here.

 

jeno hesitantly grabbed the handle of the door, afraid of the sight he would be faced with but nonetheless gripped the handle firmly and threw it open.

 

Two familiar faces faced him, one bloody and bruised and from what jeno could tell - unconscious. The other, the one he had hoped he wouldn’t be seeing at all, was standing high and mighty, a sadistic smile on his face upon the realization that jeno was there. The other man moved quick, pressing a blade to jaemins neck, holding his head back by yanking his hair.

 

“Don’t hurt him anymore please.” jeno managed to choke out watching as the small blade seemed to press deeper and deeper into jaemins tan skin.

 

The man laughed, finally moving the blade away. “I don’t understand you jeno. You do know that he tried to kill you right? Yet here you are, trying to stop me? I thought you’d be happy if i did this?” he said with the tilt of his head.

 

Jeno sobbed, his attention still on jaemin, wanting to get closer, to touch him, make sure he was okay, but he knew he couldn’t. “I would never want you, or even ask you to hurt him. I’d rather you kill me, please.”

 

“Why would i ever kill you? He’s the one i have a problem with after all. Him and his brother.”

 

-

 

Taeyong and yoonoh both ran after jeno, hands intertwined as to not lose each other. ( at least that’s what taeyong told himself.)

 

They followed jeno right up to when he went through the door, leaving it open only by a crack.

 

Taeyong shot a finger at yoonoh telling him to be silent as they quietly edged their way to the door. Taeyong looked through the crack of the door, eyes squinting as he tried to look at what's happening. He pushed yoonoh away from the door so they weren’t visible to anybody in there, as he whispered “ you know this building right? Is there another way to get into that room without drawing attention?”

 

Yoonoh looked pensive for a moment “every room in this building has two entrances, i don’t think we can go through it without being seen though.” taeyong bit his lip “we’ll have to take that risk then. Lead the way.”  

 

-

 

Jeno took a small step forward, eyes locked on jaemin.

 

“Just stop this already. There’s nothing to gain from hurting jaemin.” the man hummed in response stepping in between jaemin and jeno so that get to him. “Oh, but there is! You see they wanted to kill you, which you already know. But why? For more power of course. What better way to get the upper hand than to take something from them before they can to us.”

 

“But i’m still alive! You don’t have to do this!” jeno insisted taking another step forward trying to see if jaemin had any major wounds on his body but alas wasn't able to due to the man blocking him. He almost growled in anger that was starting to rise in him, his frustration becoming more apparent. The man raised an eyebrow in amusement, “in the long run this will be beneficial jeno. Don't let your feelings blind you of a great opportunity.”

 

“The only thing i’ll gain from this is losing the love of my life doyoung.”

 

“Please, your still young, you’ll get over it soon,” he said chuckling in a way that made jenos stomach churn, he turned around pulling something from under his shirt.

 

A gun.

 

A gun that he was currently pointing straight at jaemin.

 

All jeno could do was plead, to beg for him not to do it, as he pathetically watched as doyoung cocked the trigger, placing the gun directly on jaemins forehead.

 

-

 

Jaemin was dreaming. Not exactly dreaming, to be exact he was recalling a memory. The same memory that had been haunting him for days. Even in doyoung’s clutches jaemin couldn’t seem to think about anything other than jeno.

 

How hurt jeno looked when he told him the truth. How jeno had said he hated him. How he wishes he could forget that part. He was surprised when he dreamt about that day again, even if it was just a dream it was still just as painful as the first time it occurred. All the yelling, screaming, crying, it all felt so real.

 

Although the dream did, in fact, surprise him, what surprised him even more was waking up to a cold metal object harshly pinned to his forehead. It wasn’t until he forced his eyes open did he realize what was happening.

 

It all came back to jaemin in flood of emotions, the fact that doyoung had done all of this to him, kidnapped and tortured him. Jaemin wished it was a dream.

 

As he woke up he moved his head in an attempt to get the metal away from him, he didn’t exactly care if he was shot or not but it was starting to give him a headache.

 

Doyoung snapped his head back to look at jaemin when he felt a sudden movement. His eyes widened when he realized jaemin was awake but quickly went back to a more stoic expression. That was when jaemin heard the cries, the cries that sounded like ones he’s heard before. But from where?

 

“Jeno?” he croaked out, his throat extremely raspy, as he tilted his head trying to look around doyoung. Jeno sobbed, even more, his cries sounding like wails as he begged on his knees for doyoung to stop. “D-doyoung please, i’ll do anything just please don’t hurt him, i’ll do anything please.” jaemin felt his chest swell at the weight of jenos words, but he couldn’t help but wonder why? Didn’t jeno hate him? So why was trying so hard to save his life, when he knew he didn’t deserve the right to live anymore.

 

“Jeno, its okay, i deserve this.” jaemin said struggling to find a more comfortable position than the one he was in, he flinched when doyoung pressed the gun harder against his forehead, knowing it will definitely leave a bruise. Jaemin thought that would stop jenos cries but it only made jenos state even worse. “No, no, no doyoung stop please stop, don’t do this.” jeno cried hysterically trying to bring some sense back into his brother.

 

“I have to jeno, understand that this is for your own good, i-” doyoung’s sudden spiel was cut short by a knock on the door, alarming everyone in the room.

 

“Whos there?” doyoung called out lowering the gun from jaemin’s forehead, he clearly looked alarmed at the sudden knock. “Ah maybe it’s your brother!” doyoung exclaimed excitedly, “i wanted him to be here too to see his little brothers end, wonder why he didn't come sooner hm. Maybe he doesn't care as much as i thought he did for you?”

 

Jaemin stared forward ignoring the spiteful remarks being thrown at him, as to not give him the satisfaction of knowing that comment did get to jaemin. It did get him thinking though, where was taeyong? If even jeno had come he would have at least expected his brother to arrive as well.

 

A bang to the door cut off his thought, jaemin felt his head spinning, probably from the blows he took earlier. He looked over just in time to see the door being forcefully opened, he saw doyoung walk over the gun in a steady position to shoot whoever the intruder was.

 

That is until they all saw who it was.

 

Jung yoonoh.

 

Jaemin swears he saw all the blood drain from doyoungs face.

 

“Ah, sorry about the door, i didn’t realize it was unlocked.” yoonoh suddenly speaks up, showing his dimpled smile as he looks at the remains of the door spread all over the floor. “seriously , i leave you guys alone for a while, and doyoungs already kidnapped, and tortured jenos boyfriend. Ah what will i ever do with you guys.” he smiled one last time before grabbing a piece of the door from of the ground, _maybe it was a good thing the doors in their building were so thick._

 

Jeno watched as yoonoh pounded the piece of wood over doyoungs head who had been too shocked to have a reaction. Seeing doyoung passed out was all the reassurance he needed before sprinting over to where jaemin was, his fingers felt numb as he tried yanking the ropes from his wrists. He almost growled in frustration at how long it was taking, and how knotted it was.

 

Finally pulling all of jaemins limbs free, jeno tugged him into his arms, bringing him into a bear crushing hug (which he loosened immediately when he heard jaemins cry of pain). They stayed there, together wrapped in each other, jeno cried messily into jaemins shoulder saying _they need to go to the hospital immediately,_ while jaemin attempted to reassure him that he _was okay, it was just a couple of bruises._

 

Yoonoh and taeyong watched from the sidelines, feeling their hearts tinge in sadness and happiness at the scene in front of them.

 

At the same time, yoonoh was debating internally what he should do with doyoung and taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the slow updates was going thru some stuff but nxt ch. will hopefully be up soon!! the next ch. possibly might be the last!! alsoooo what do u guys think so far? I thought about making JH the bad guy but at the same time I want a happy jaeyong ending sjksjs, I always love reading comments so pls leave some hehe. (also was thinking about a nomin sad ending?? thoughts on that...?)


	11. got your heart skippin'

Jeno could feel his eyes droop as he sat on the floor right next to jaemins bed, he has been forcing them open ever since they got home, not wanting to be asleep when jaemin wakes up. Jeno held jaemins hand in his, carefully not wanting to wake him up quite yet but the yelling outside would probably get to him sooner or later. The ones screaming… well. Jeno couldn't wrap his head around how it was actually taeyong screaming at yoonoh rather than the other way around. He chose to think of it as more of a lovers quarrel than an actual fight and went back to admiring jaemin and making sure he didn't wake up. 

 

Jeno was tired both emotionally and physically, he didn't even want to think even less see doyoung. He never thought his brother, his own blood, could have been capable of something so disgusting and pathetic in jenos books. 

 

He must have been thinking too hard, because the second he looked back at jaemins he was awake, staring unblinkingly at him. Jeno opened his mouth ready to say something along the lines of “are you okay?” until jaemin beat him to it.

 

“Is this..is this a dream?” jaemin asked moving his hand to cup jenos face, thumbing at his cheek. Jeno smiled at him, grabbing the hand that was on his face and bringing it up his lips giving it a small kiss. “It's not, I'm right here.” jaemin shot up from the bed faster than jenos ever seen him move, throwing himself onto jeno where they both landed on the ground with a groan, jeno secretly thanked the carpet for being there. Jaemin wasted no time in kissing every part of jenos face, his forehead, eyelids, cheeks, nose, everywhere he could reach he kissed hastily, with so much passion that jeno could just cry on the spot. 

 

It seemed like his emotions were all over the place because that's exactly what he did, nestling his head into jaemins neck he let out small cries as jaemin held him tightly, scared if he lets go jeno would leave again. 

 

“I-i know you lied and everything to me and as much as it hurt, it hurt even more not being with you.” jeno whimpered into jaemins shoulder in an attempt to muffle his cries which proved futile when jaemin suddenly yanked himself back placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “I'm so sorry, from the bottom of my heart jeno, I really don't deserve my forgiveness but- but I hope one day ill be able to earn it all back, your trust and love.”

 

“Y’know I was so scared seeing you like that, so hurt and vulnerable, I think, no, I know I would have actually died if you did. I want to make this work jaem, I really do, but I'm thinking maybe I should talk to my brother first, to get his opinion.” jeno said avoiding eye contact when jaemin pulled back from his hug, his eyes accusing.

 

“Your brother?” jaemin said eyes widening. “Oh! Yoonoh! Holy shit I almost pissed myself thinking you were talking about doyoung.”

 

“Actually speaking of him, where he is?”  jaemin questioned looking at the door because at this point the screaming outside was turning into downright screeching. “And what the hell is that?

 

“I have no idea where doyoung is, and that-” jeno paused pointing towards the door “is our beloved brothers.” 

 

Jaemin hummed lightly lifting himself up from the floor with a groan while simultaneously pulling jeno along with him. They both stood at the door, jaemin putting his ear up to it in an attempt to hear what was going on out there. Jeno letting out a sigh when jaemin looks him dead in the eye muttering a small “I have no idea what they're saying.”

 

“Yeah, open the door genius.” 

 

Jaemin looked at him nervously “I'm not so sure we should do that just yet.” jeno was about to ask why when a sudden crash outside made them both jump, his hands automatically reaching for the doorknob, until jaemin had to smack his hand away. “My brother can get… spicy when it comes to fights. Don't worry though, he only throws things at people he loves.”

 

“Wow that's so reassuring.” jeno said sarcastically, as he huffed his way to sit on the edge of the bed. “Ahh, it's fine really, one time he threw a table at me and I'm fine! I mean I broke my arm actually so maybe that wasn't the best example,” he said still leaning with his ear on the door. Jeno stayed as silent, staring at jaemin who was too immersed in trying to understand the mumble of words coming from outside. “I'm going out.” he suddenly declared looking at jeno with a determined look in his eyes.”

 

“Huh? Why? Didn't you just tell me we couldn't.”

 

Jaemin shrugged “I'm nosy.”

 

He flung the door open just in time to see a glass vase hit and shatter against the wall, he looked back at jeno who looked just as shocked as he felt. He took a step outside, praying he wouldn't get hit by any flying objects. 

 

He stepped into the living room expecting to see the worst, only to be met by the sight of a lot of glass all over the floor, yoonoh sitting on the couch looking very distressed, and a small taeyong sitting on the floor in handcuffs with a murderous glare in his eyes (thankfully not directed at him this time.).

 

Jaemin came to an abrupt halt seeing his brother with bloody knees (from what he guesses was from the glass) and his hands behind his back, jeno knocked into his back when jaemin suddenly stopped, peeking from behind his back, his gasp startling both yoonoh and taeyong. 

 

-

  
  


Yoonoh sighed as he brushed his hair away from his face, he had doyoung locked up somewhere safe but he really had no idea what he was going to do with him. 

 

In truth he knew doyoung like the back of his hand, his likes, dislikes, everything a brother would know basically. He never really expected doyoung to turn out like this though. So greedy for power, using his concern for others as an excuse to hurt them as well. Quite backhanded of him if he said so himself.

 

Yoonoh blamed himself for this because deep down he knew, he knew that doyoung was up to know good. 

 

It had all started when he met taeyong, he knew it from the beginning that doyoung hated the older but with that also grew a hatred for yoonoh. Doyoung always questioned him during meetings, questioning why he was the leader if he was meeting someone behind everyone's backs, someone who could destroy the gang. Never did he have concern for him, it was always about the gang to him, that was all that ever mattered. 

 

So when he found a file in doyoungs computer (encrypted of course) with specific details on how he wanted yoonoh dead as well as what he had assumed was an assassins email, he felt physically disgusted, that his own blood could be that pathetic. 

 

From then on he always assured he had a guard with him at all times, most times from far. He never felt safe with anyone at that point, excluding taeyong of course.

 

He thought he could trust taeyong, no, he knew he could, from the moment he laid eyes on the older he knew he was someone he could never let go. Even when taeyong himself betrayed him, he never blamed the older. He blamed the society they lived in the, their upbringings, it all played a part in everything. But it was  _ never _ taeyongs fault.

 

In a way he should be thanking taeyong for trying to kill him but failing, he was able to escape doyoungs clutches, along with one of his guards that had brought him to safety. He stayed in hiding for as long as he could, checking up on his brothers from afar, occasionally taeyong too.  _ But he could never tell the older that part.  _

 

If had handled doyoung then, when he knew he wasn't okay, things probably wouldn't have gone this far.

 

Having to explain all of that to taeyong however… was an experience he wishes he could forget. Never in his life has he seen someone so small hold so much rage. 

 

It wasn't until he told taeyong that he didn't blame him, that he still loves him no matter what he did, did taeyong finally blow up.

 

“Me trying to kill you isn't just water under the bridge!” taeyong insisted along with a vase coming in very near contact with his face.

 

“To me it is! I already forgave you why can't you just get over it!” yoonoh insisted dodging everything taeyong would throw.  _ Curse jaemin and his well-furnished apartment.  _

 

“I can't forgive myself, cmon stab me or something with the intent of murder.” 

 

“Even if i did how would i be able to with you trying to decapitate me!” 

 

Taeyong paused for a moment thinking his words over, which gave yoonoh more than enough time to pin the smaller man down, he held his arms above his head, both panting for air.

 

“How dumb can you be?” taeyong said avoiding eye contact, attempting to wiggle his way free. Yoonoh smiled bringing something out of his pocket “knew these would come in handy.”

 

He put the cold metal over taeyongs wrists who looked like he was five seconds away from committing another murder. 

 

“Why the fuck do you have handcuffs!” taeyong said trying to pry his wrists out but giving when he realized he’s not stronger than metal.  “You handcuffing me doesn't change shit! You do realize i could try to kill you again right, why would you willingly want to be with me! You can do so much better yoonoh.” 

 

Not even a second later a gasp came from the hallway revealing a very shocked jeno and jaemin. “Oh thank god your here.” yoonoh said with a sigh. 

 

He tugged both boys over to where he was sat on the couch, hiding the disgust on his face when jaemin interlaced his fingers with jenos.

 

“Jeno! Let me ask you a quick question?” yoonoh started with a bright smile looking directly at taeyong.

“Um okay?” he said noticing the strange eye contact between the former lovers.

 

“So jaemin was supposed to kill you correct?” 

 

Jaemin shifted uncomfortably as jeno nodded. “In your position do you think it would ever be possible for you to forgive him?”

 

Taeyong glared at yoonoh as he pressed forward, and if looks could kill yoonoh would actually be dead this time. Jeno nodded slowly “i can't live without him.” jaemin looked like he was gonna explode and yoonoh looked content as ever with his response. 

 

“Great! You guys can go now.”

 

“Are you su-” jeno started, “Yup don't worry about it, trust me.” he added a wink for extra measure. Jaemin and jeno looked at each other confused before making their way back to his room.

 

Yoonoh sat on the floor next to taeyong, bringing his hands up to cup his face gently “i forgave you because i can't live without you yongie. Because it hurt more when i wasn't with you than when you stabbed me. Wounds heal baby, hearts don't.”. taeyong looked up at him, lip quivering as he tried to hold back his tears “you deserve better yoonie.”

 

“I want you tae, nothing will ever change my mind about that.” he said lifting taeyongs chin with a single finger, connecting their lips. Taeyong sighed into the kiss, tears already streaming down his face, the wave in is heart finally coming to a calm the deeper and longer they kissed. Everything slipped from his mind all he could think about was yoonoh, his lips, his hands, his love, his everything. 

 

He finally felt home again.

 

-

 

“Jeno, can we talk?” jaemin asked quietly from where he was laying on the bed. Jeno looked up from his phone, furrowing his eyebrows as he walked over sitting next to jaemin, both up against the headboard.

 

Jaemin sighed, clearly torn by something. “That night, when you said you hated me.. Is it, i don't even know what i'm saying. Forget it.” he said looking out the window. Jeno grabbed his hand pulling him from his thought. “No, say it,” he said stroking his hand with his thumb encouragingly.

 

“Do you still feel that way? I mean, do you feel any hatred towards me?” he asked blinking harshly to get rid of any tears.

 

Jeno looked at him surprised, his eyes widening over the question. “What? Of course not,” he said shaking his head, leaning closer so he could put his hand on jaemins face like how the other did to him before to make him stop crying. “I-i would understand if you hated me jeno, i would hate myself too.” 

 

“I wouldn't be here if i hated you, you fool.” jeno smiled lightly but upon sensing the tension that jaemin was giving off, he leaned closer pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “i only said that because of the heat of the moment, i was upset, but i didn't mean it, so don't think i hate you now. I can't and never will, i proved that much didn't i?” jaemin nodded to that, his grip on jenos hand tightening as he pulled him onto his lap, jeno landed with a yelp not expecting that. 

 

“Never leave.” jaemin mumbled into jenos neck, causing him to laugh. “I won't, i won't.”

 

-

 

Taeyong pulled away with a panicked shout, startling yoonoh off of his lips, “what-what's wrong babe?”

 

Taeyong looked at him strangely serious, his dry tear tracks somehow made him look humourous the longer yoonoh looked at him. 

 

“Im cuffed. It hurts,” he said robotically, but groaning when he tried moving his hands to show yoonoh. 

 

“Oh, oh! Baby im sorry, i forgot.” yoonoh said while taking out the key, uncuffing taeyong as quickly as he could. 

 

“Tsk, you already bruised me. Anyways don't you have things to do today?”

 

Yoonoh helped taeyong stand up, his legs wobbly from being on the ground for so long. “Mm i still have to assess the whole doyoung situation. I Was hoping we could do it together though?” yoonoh asked hopefully, which reminded taeyong of a puppy for some reason. Taeyong pretended to think for a few moments, enjoying the over-eager look on yoonohs face “i guess i could clear my schedule for you.”

 

Yoonoh wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug “god i really missed you.”

 

“Me too yoonie, ‘m sorry.”

 

Yoonoh pulled away, confusion written all over his face. Taeyong shook his head elaborating further “ if i wasn't so stupid we would have been together this whole time, i'm sorry for doing that to you.” 

 

“Don't worry about that now, okay? We’re okay now. Don't blame yourself for anything like that.”

 

Taeyong smiled sadly “okay”.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im baaaaaack, sorry for taking so long with this one, it's not over yet tho!!! still more damage to be done ;)) thank u all for reading owo


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